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Another installment from Leo Babauta’s Thriving on Less, the companion ebook to his The Power of Less.  .

Chapter 4 – Focusing on Enough, Not More

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

I think it’s something that’s conditioned in us from an early age, by friends, television, and the

general culture: we always seem to want more. More money, more gadgets, better furniture, a

better house, a better car, more clothes, more shoes, more success.

And what happens when we get more? We aren’t satisfied, because there are new ads for new iPods,

for new laptops, for new iPhones, for new cars, for new clothes. We have to have those. It’s impossible

to satisfy that hunger for more, because our culture is not satisfied with what we have, but is geared to

wanting more. It’s consumerism, and it’s the official religion of the industrialized world.

That sounds preachy, so let’s move beyond that: ask yourself how much is enough, how much do

you need in order to be satisfied? I submit that the answer is that we already have enough

– possibly more than enough.

What does “enough” mean?

Enough doesn’t mean the just bare necessities of life. That would be food, water, shelter and

clothing. It could be a house with a bed, a table, a chair, a place for food storage and preparation, a

toilet, perhaps a shower. That’s not really enough.

Enough means having enough to live, and enough to be happy, and enough to thrive. For me, as I

get extreme happiness from writing and blogging, I would need a computer. Perhaps I could use the

public library’s computer, but in any case “enough” would include some access to a computer.

For others, enough would mean the need for tools such as a notebook and pens, musical

instruments, video technology, or a camera. Enough would also mean food beyond just survival

food – food that makes us happy, but not so much food that we are being excessive and gorging

ourselves.

Enough could include cars, if those are necessary, but for some people it wouldn’t necessarily mean

owning a car, especially if they don’t have kids and live close enough to the things they need, such

as a grocery store or work.

Thriving on Less : Simplifying in a Tough Economy 10

Enough could include watching DVDs, if that makes you happy. It could mean an iPod, if you need

that to be happy.

How to find “enough” and apply it to life

Consider the following when thinking about the concept of enough, and how it applies to your life:

1. What are the main things that make you happy? Are they material things, or are they

people, or activities? Knowing the answer to this question can give you some insight into what

material things you actually need beyond the bare necessities, in order to be happy.

2. What do you need to thrive? You don’t want to just survive, you want to thrive. You want to

be good at what you do, and do what you love. You want to be passionate about the things you do,

and be successful at them. What do you need in order to do that? How many tools or material

things do you need to thrive?

3. What do you need to survive at a comfortable level? You need to survive, of course, but

you probably don’t want to be miserable as you survive. A comfortable bed is probably important

(although I’ve had great success with a futon, so a “comfortable bed” doesn’t have to be an

expensive one), but how many extra trimmings does that bed need in order to be comfortable? How

nice do the sheets need to be? Examine your ideas of comfort and then see what’s really necessary

for that comfort. Sometimes you’ll realize that only a minimum of things are needed for real

comfort.

4. What do you have beyond those things needed for survival, comfort, happiness,

and thriving? Take a look around you, and think about everything in your home. How much of it

goes beyond these things that make up the concept of “enough”? Do you really need them, or do

they go beyond enough?

5. What do you desire that goes beyond enough – beyond what’s needed for survival,

comfort, happiness, and thriving? We all want things we don’t have. What are they, and are

they needed to have “enough”? Why do you want them? Can you be happy, comfortable, and

thriving without them? And if so, how can you give up your desire for those things?

6. If you didn’t want to have more than enough, could you work less? Do you really need

all the income you bring in, or is much of it to support a lifestyle that includes more than enough?

For example, you might have expensive cars when only one cheap, used car is enough. Or no car at

all. Or you might have an expensive home when it’s really more than enough. Or credit card debt

from too many trips, too much shopping, too much eating out. If you didn’t spend all that money,

and didn’t always want more than enough, perhaps you wouldn’t need as much income. There are

almost certainly people living happily and comfortably on a lower income than yours.

Thriving on Less : Simplifying in a Tough Economy 11

7. If you worked less, could you be happy with enough, and happier doing other

things? If you didn’t have to work, you might be happy with just enough. And you might enjoy

working less. It’s something to think about, anyway. Also think about what you would do if you

didn’t have to work.

The Effects of Advertising, and How to Beat It

One of the most powerful forces that makes us want more, instead of just being satisfied with

enough, is the pervasive influence of advertising. It’s everywhere: on television, product placement

in movies and sporting events, on all our favorite websites, in magazines and newspapers, on the

sides of buses, in airplanes and trains, in every event sponsored by a corporation … you can’t escape

it.

Advertising works very well – advertisers have spent decades studying the effects of different

techniques on the human psyche, and they know very well what works. What will make us buy

something? Advertisers have a million ways, and we are almost powerless against this power.

Almost.

The way to beat advertising is to escape it as much as possible. I said, just two paragraphs ago, that

you can’t escape advertising, but you can avoid it to some extent. You can consume less media –

shut off the TV, browse fewer websites, read fewer magazines. Try to ignore advertising as much as

possible. It’s difficult, I know, but to the extent that you can avoid or ignore advertising, you will be

lessening its power over you. And when you do that, you beat the forceful push to have more, and

learn to be satisfied with enough.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

and the book:

When God & Grief Meet

Tyndale House Publishers (January 9, 2009)

Lynn Eib is a long-time cancer survivor, journalist, and patient advocate who has provided emotional and spiritual support to thousands of cancer survivors and their caregivers. She also facilitates spiritually based grief and cancer support groups. She is the author of When God & Cancer Meet and Finding the Light in Cancer’s Shadow and is the special-features author for the He Cares New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs. Lynn lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and has three grown daughters.

Visit the author’s website.

Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers (January 9, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1414321740
ISBN-13: 978-1414321745

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Let’s be honest: I never wanted to write a grief book and you never wanted to need one.

Frankly, I like movies with happy endings, fairy tales where everyone lives happily ever after, and answered prayers for miracle healings. But right now you and I are past all those hopes and dreams. Instead we are faced with harsh reality.

I don’t know your exact circumstances. Perhaps this enemy called Death snuck up and unexpectedly

stole away your loved one. Or perhaps you had been expecting its arrival for some time. Either way it was an unwelcome intruder which brought the ending you never wanted to see.

So I do understand that you’d rather not be in the position to need this book. But if you picked it up for yourself, I’m honored you have chosen to take my words along with you on your grief journey. If someone gave you this book, I’m praying you’ll be just curious enough about what will happen when God meets your grief that you’ll keep reading. And if you’re not quite ready to read yet,

that’s okay with me. Just put the book aside (hopefully on the top of your pile!). I believe that sometime in the coming weeks you’ll know you’re ready. I’ll still be here for you then.

It might seem strange for me to say I didn’t want to write this book. After all, I am a journalist, and writing normally gives me great joy. I write and speak mostly on the topic of faith and medicine, drawing on my years of experience as a patient advocate offering emotional and spiritual support to cancer patients and their caregivers. As a longtime cancer survivor myself—I was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer at the age of thirty-six in 1990—I love working in my oncologist’s office encouraging those facing this dreaded disease. It can be a very sad job because more than half our patients die from their cancer. But at least some become survivors, and there’s always a glimmer of hope that even those with dire prognoses might defy the odds.

With grief, there’s no such glimmer. Nothing I write will change the reality of the loss you are mourning—which is why I was reluctant to write this book. But while my words can’t change your past, I believe these true stories from others’ grief-storms will give you comfort in your present and courage for your future.

These stories come from people of all walks of life who have experienced many kinds of difficult losses. Some have lost loved ones to cancer and heart attacks; others have had their worlds ripped apart by a car accident, a plane crash, a suicide, and even a murder. I have no doubt you’ll find at least one person facing a grief storm who has feelings very similar to yours.

The focus of the stories is not on how the loved ones died but on how those left behind are finding the strength to continue living without them. My hope is that these stories will help heal your heartache as much as they have mine.

I started feeling especially helpless dealing with grief a few years ago as I watched a march of mourning people come to my office searching for answers, direction, and peace after their loved ones passed away. Many had attended my Cancer Prayer Support Groups with their loved ones and really missed the encouragement those groups offered them. I kept sensing God asking me to start a similar group for grievers, but if you’ve read my other books, you know I’m not always eager to say yes to the hard things God calls me to do. (If you haven’t read my books, let’s just say I tend to think I have things all figured out and can convince the Almighty my way is right!)

Starting a grief group sounded really depressing to me. Granted, starting a cancer support group sounded really depressing to me back in 1991, and it turned out to be an incredible joy, but I was certain this time that a grief group definitely would be depressing.

Yet the march of mourners continued to come through my office door, and I found myself spending more and more time each day offering comfort and consolation. I also was having a harder time dealing with my own grief as the deaths of my patient-friends began to add up. Every week another one would die; sometimes a couple of friends would pass in the same day.

God kept tugging on my heart, and I finally asked my boss, Dr. Marc Hirsh, if it would be okay for me to start a grief group at the office. I could tell he really didn’t see the necessity of such a gathering, but if I wanted to do it, he wouldn’t say no.

So I sent out notes to my grieving friends, inviting them to come to a group meeting at our office. Bringing a bunch of sorrowful souls together in the same room still seemed like a depressing plan—especially because I was powerless to change their painful reality.

But I almost had forgotten that Someone else was going to show up. From the very first grief group, it was obvious to me that God was going to do something special in our midst. Sure, there were plenty of tissues and tear-filled memories, but there also were laughs and comfort-filled words. Instead of being depressed by hearing each other’s stories, we all felt just a little better as we realized we weren’t quite so alone. Instead of drowning in our own self-pity, grievers reached out, as if we were throwing life preservers to one another. And instead of feeling far from God, we began to sense His love was very near.

Now, more than five years after that first meeting, the grief group members enjoy each other so much that we also meet monthly for breakfast and dinner and have gotten together for picnics, shows, and concerts. An evening group has been added for those who can’t come during the day. And my boss thinks facilitating our ministry to grievers is one of the more important things I do

in the office and one of the best ways our patients’ families can continue to see God meet their greatest needs.

So my prayer for you as you read these pages is that you’ll feel as if you’ve been to some really good support group meetings. You’ll have to add great snacks and jokes if you want them to be more like our group. (Yes, I said jokes. I start every meeting with them because I have found that grievers usually haven’t had much to smile about and need a safe place to learn to laugh again.)

You can “go” to a support group meeting once a day, once a week, or once a month depending on how quickly you read this book. You’ll know what the right pace is for you. (And if you just can’t put the book down, go ahead and have a marathon meeting—but after you finish you’ll probably want to come back now and then to give the words a chance to really soak in.)

As we walk this grief journey together, I think you’ll discover that many others share your deep feelings. And while I can appreciate the popular psychology that feelings are “neither right nor wrong,” I also know that feelings do not necessarily mirror God’s undeniable truth. I witnessed this dilemma of strong feelings at odds with facts a few years ago when my husband and I were out

on a boat with my boss, Marc, and his wife, Elizabeth.

The four of us had set out for our annual Labor Day weekend cruise on their thirty-two-foot Bayliner, despite rather foul-looking weather. We were headed up the Chesapeake Bay to a scenic, lively marina called Skipjack Cove on the Sassafras River of Maryland’s eastern shore. Elizabeth had checked with her brother who lives right on the Gunpowder River leading into the Chesapeake,

and he had assured us the weather reports didn’t look that bad, despite a hurricane that was heading northward up the coast. (We later learned he had accidentally listened to the wrong forecast.)

So we took off, knowing that Marc and Elizabeth were seasoned boaters—although the whitecaps on the usually calm river should have been our first clue it wasn’t a good idea.

We had a short two-hour cruise ahead of us, but it wasn’t long before the whitecaps turned into three-foot waves. The wind whipped up, and then the thunder, lightning, and rain came. At first we all laughed and enjoyed the warm rain soaking us as the boat pounded through the waves. But then I stopped laughing, and my stomach started rebelling. Elizabeth handed me a supply of Ziploc bags, which I started filling. The waves were now five feet high and crashing clear over the top of the

boat’s windshield, drenching us. It was nearly impossible for Marc to see out of the rain-splattered windshield, and my husband and Elizabeth were trying to read the navigational charts and look for the numbered buoys, which would keep us in the correct channel away from large shipping vessels, shallow water, and crab pots. We were too far out to turn back toward home, yet not sure

we could make it to our planned destination.

And then it got really bad.

Marc announced that according to the boat’s compass we were headed in exactly the wrong direction: south when we should have been heading north.

The rest of us were sure we hadn’t turned around—Elizabeth was especially positive we were still pointing in the right direction. She was convinced she would have noticed if the boat had made an about-face. From past experience, I knew she usually was right whenever the two of them had a disagreement about boating.

The three of us looked at Marc, waiting to see what he would do. (Well, I didn’t look long because I was busy praying there were enough Ziploc bags.)

After a long pause, Marc posed his now-famous question: “Should I trust my wife . . . or the magnetic poles of the earth?”

It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d gone with Elizabeth’s feelings because she was so adamant about them, but his scientific brain won out and Marc made a 180-degree turn with the boat.

Within a few moments, we sighted buoys, confirming that we, indeed, had been going in the wrong direction despite all of us “feeling” otherwise.

The storm raging around us had distorted reality, and our feelings had fallen fickle.

The same thing can happen in the storms of grief. We can feel as if we are completely alone or without purpose or unable to cope. These are the times we need a compass—something that always will steer us in the right direction. Don’t worry; I’m not suggesting that I’ll be your compass. After half a century of living, I continue to be directionally challenged. (My husband still cringes when he recalls that I once described Spain as being to “the left” of Germany!) Besides, you probably don’t need one more helpful person in your life telling you what you should (or shouldn’t) be doing.

What I am suggesting is that the God of the universe has a special affinity for brokenhearted people, and His words are the perfect compass for grievers. A magnetic compass always will point you to the North Pole, and God’s Word always will point you to His unchanging truths and promises.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those

whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

As our “group” facilitator, it’s not going to be my job to try and solve your problems. I can’t change the reality of your loved one’s death—no one can. But I hope to show or perhaps remind you that a deeper spiritual reality transcends our earthly reality. I’ll do it by pointing to God’s Word as your compass of undeniable truth. If you already think of the Bible as your guide to life, I know you’ll appreciate these tender reminders. But if you’ve not seriously given God’s Word central importance in your life, I hope you’ll give it a try now. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word.

Psalm 119:28

When doubts fi lled my mind, your comfort gave me

renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:19

And the truth of that second verse is the reason I decided I would write this book I never wanted to write—because God can supernaturally comfort and bring renewed hope and even cheer to those whose minds are filled with doubts and whose hearts are filled with grief.

If you want a book by a psychological expert, you’ll have to find an author with a lot more initials after his or her name than I have. If you want in-depth theological answers to the questions of suffering and dying, you’ll need to locate some of the resources I’ve listed in the back of this book. But if you want someone to ride with you in your grief-storm and read the compass, then I’m your person. For some reason that only God knows, I believe He has entrusted me with a message for

mourners. And as I share with you God’s words to the brokenhearted, I believe you will see that when God and grief meet, His power, peace, and presence are bigger and more real than our uncertainties, sorrow, and loneliness. He is able to be our guiding compass.

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water

when you are dry and restoring your strength.

Isaiah 58:11

The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway

for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

Psalm 32:8

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet

and a light for my path. . . .

I have suffered much, O LORD;

restore my life again as you promised.

Psalm 119:105, 107

Like Marc as he captained our boat during that stormy trip, it’s your choice whether or not to trust the magnetic poles of the earth.

TAKE COMFORT: Grief may distort reality, but there is a deeper spiritual reality that always can be trusted.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

and the book:

Lost in Las Vegas (Carter House Girls Series)

Zondervan (February 1, 2009)

Melody Carlson has written more than 200 books for teens, women, and children. Before publishing, Melody traveled around the world, volunteered in teen ministry, taught preschool, raised two sons, and worked briefly in interior design and later in international adoption. “I think real-life experiences inspire the best friction,” she says. Her wide variety of books seems to prove this theory.

Visit the author’s website.

Product Details:

List Price: $9.99
Reading level: Young Adult
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Zondervan (February 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310714923
ISBN-13: 978-0310714927

I chose to read this book, because I lived in Vegas and wondered just what direction a Christian author would take teens in Vegas.  This was a very well written book with a few surprises for you.  When I lived in Vegas the PR was “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”  With that in mind, I’m not going to tell you too much about this book.  I want you to get the full benefit of making those discoveries yourself.  I’m hooked on these girls and want to know more about them.  This is the fifth book in the Carter House Girls series.  I want to know what I’ve missed, so I’ll be heading out to the library to find the first four.  If I’m unable to find them at the library, they will go towards the top of my “when I have some extra money” list.

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

“But what if Mr. Harper really does High School Musical in the spring?” asked Kriti with wide dark eyes. DJ could tell by the way Kriti said this that she was hoping he would. Eliza probably was too.

“That is so last week,” said Taylor.

“Meaning you wouldn’t participate in it?” Eliza pushed a long strand of blond hair over her shoulder and sat up straighter, looking directly at Taylor like this was a personal challenge.

Taylor rolled her eyes then reached for the fruit platter. “Meaning I don’t really want to think about it right now. Sheesh, Eliza, didn’t you just ask us to remind you never to be another musical?”

“Eliza is probably just trying to secure her next starring role,” said Rhiannon. Then she frowned like she hadn’t really meant it to sound like that. “And why shouldn’t she?” she added quickly. “Eliza was absolutely fantastic as Nurse Nellie. Everyone said so.”

“And it’s obvious that Eliza will never want us to forget that she was a star,” teased Casey.

“Was.” Taylor chuckled. “As in she’s a has-been now.”

Some of the girls snickered, but Eliza just glared at Taylor.

Then as if she’d just started listening, Grandmother cleared her throat, closing the open date book that she’d been studying, she looked at the girls. “I see there are only two weeks remaining until winter break, ladies.” She shook her head sadly. “I just can’t believe that it’s already December. It seems like only yesterday that you girls arrived at Carter House. My, my, how time flies.”

“And the Winter Ball is next Saturday,” Eliza reminded them. As if anyone could’ve forgotten with all posters plastered all over the school. But DJ was still unsure. Conner had asked her to go, but she hadn’t agreed. Even though Haley hadn’t returned to school yet, it still made DJ uncomfortable to be seen as more than “just friends” with Conner. And DJ knew that Haley’s swim team buddies were probably reporting to her.

“My mother and I are shopping for gowns today,” continued Eliza. She glanced at her roommate. “And Kriti too, or course.”

“I already have my dress,” said Taylor. “A little something my mother sent over from Milan while she was performing there last month.”

DJ could tell this little dig was aimed directly at Eliza. The two girls had been going at it steadily for the last couple of weeks. It had started when Eliza’s boyfriend Harry had made what Eliza interpreted as a flirtatious move toward Taylor during a rehearsal for the musical. Actually, DJ had seen it herself and, although she hadn’t told anyone, she felt certain that Harry had been flirting too. But he’d been unaware that Eliza had been watching at the time. Yet, in a way, DJ was glad Eliza and Taylor were at odds again. They had all experienced those two “power forces” united during last month’s ski trip—and it had been rather frightening experience. Sort of like it might be if Russia and China ever got together.

“My mother offered to shop a gown for me in Paris,” said Eliza, her attempt at one-upping Taylor. “But I told her to wait. I wouldn’t want to risk having a dress that fit poorly.”

“That’s why God invented alterations, Eliza,” said Taylor. “Or perhaps you don’t have such conveniences down south.”

“I don’t see why girls think they need to go out and spend a bunch of money on something new for a silly dance,” said Casey. She glanced at Rhiannon and DJ suspected that Casey was trying to make her feel better. “I mean you’ll wear that dress like one time. What a waste!”

“So what do you intend to wear?” asked Eliza with a bored sort of interest. “Your Doc Martins and something with spikes?”

Casey made a face. “Actually, I might go eighties retro. Like Madonna or Blondie.”

“Right.” Eliza turned up her nose. “And the Winter Ball theme is White Christmas and we’re supposed to dress in a fifties style of Hollywood elegance.”

“You take those posters literally?” asked Casey.

“They suggested dresses in Christmas colors of red, green or white.” Eliza continued like she was reading it from a brochure.

“I think it’ll be pretty,” said Kriti.

“I intend to look for something sparkly in white to show off my tan,” said Eliza.

“Fake tan.” Taylor pushed a curly dark strand of hair away from her face and laughed. “My dress is black.”

“It figures.” Eliza snickered.

“I’m going to wear green,” said Rhiannon quickly, like she was trying to keep this from escalating.

“What do you mean it figures?” demanded Taylor.

“Everyone else will look Christmassy in red, green or white and the vamp will show up wearing black.” Eliza laughed.

“Speaking of Winter Break,” said Grandmother loudly. “What exactly are your plans, ladies?” She opened her date book and picked up her silver pen. “I’d like to make note of it now, if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll be in France for Christmas,” Eliza announced proudly.

“So you’ll be flying directly to France from Connecticut?” inquired Grandmother.

“Actually, I’ll spend the first week or so in Kentucky,” admitted Eliza. “Visiting with friends and family. Then my older siblings and I will travel together just before Christmas. My mother said the rooms aren’t completely renovated yet. Her designer, a well-known Parisian, promises to have it completed before Christmas Eve.”

“La—tee—da,” said Casey.

Grandmother frowned at Casey. “So, how about you, Miss Atwood? When will you be departing for California?”

“The same day that school is out.”

Grandmother made note of this.

“And I’ll be leaving the day after school it out,” said Rhiannon.

Grandmother’s brows lifted with curiosity. “To go where, dear?”

“To an aunt who lives in Maine.”

Grandmother smiled. “That’s nice. I didn’t know you had an aunt, Rhiannon.”

“I didn’t either. She’s actually a great aunt and…” Rhiannon paused as if unsure. “My mother may be joining me up there.”

“Really?” Grandmother looked a bit skeptical, and everyone else got quiet. They all knew that Rhiannon’s mother was in drug rehab—the lockdown kind.

“Yes. If my aunt signs something, they’ll release her for the holidays.”

“Very interesting.” Grandmother looked at Kriti now. “I assume you’ll be in New York?”

Kriti nodded happily. “Yes. We have some relatives coming from India to visit. My mother is very excited.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a delightful Christmas.” Grandmother frowned with realization. “I suppose you don’t call it Christmas, do you, Kriti?”

Kriti looked slightly embarrassed. “It’s a different sort of holiday, Mrs. Carter. We celebrate things like love, affection, sharing, and the renewing of family bonds.”

“That sounds lovely.” Grandmother looked at Taylor now. “And what will you be doing during the holidays, dear?”

Taylor sighed. “My mother has invited me to tour with her.”

Grandmother’s eyes lit up. She was a huge fan of Eva Perez. “Where will she be touring? Europe still?”

“I wish. No, she’ll be in the southwest by then. And it looks like we’ll be spending Christmas in Las Vegas.”

Eliza snickered. “Charming.”

Taylor tossed her a warning glance. “Hey, Las Vegas has its perks.”

“Most importantly, is that you’re with family, Taylor.” Grandmother smiled. “Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?”

Taylor shrugged. “I guess.”

Now Grandmother looked at DJ. “Now, you’re still certain you don’t want to join your father and his family for Christmas, Desiree?”

“No, Grandmother.” DJ tried not to show frustration. But she and Grandmother had already been over this. The last place DJ wanted to be during Christmas break was with her father’s happy little step family. It was bad enough that this would be her first Christmas without her mother. But to be stuck playing the live-in babysitter to the toddler twins was unimaginable.

“Well, I’m sure that we’ll have a delightful time right here at home.” Grandmother smiled at DJ. “Perhaps we’ll have the general over.”

DJ got sympathetic glances from Rhiannon and Casey and maybe even Kriti. Not that she wanted their pity. But Eliza just smiled smugly. And Taylor, well, she was a hard one to read.

But later that day, after DJ and Rhiannon got back from church, Taylor asked DJ if she was happy about her “holiday plans.”

DJ groaned as she flopped onto her bed. “Holiday plans? Like I planned any of this?”

Taylor laughed. “Yeah, I guess not.”

“I’ll be fine,” DJ assured her. “I’ll catch up on sleep and reading.”

“Maybe Conner will be around to keep you entertained,” Taylor said in a sexy sounding teasing tone.

“Conner is going with his family to Montana for two weeks.”

“Bummer.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I know!” Taylor exclaimed. “You’ll come out to Las Vegas and visit me for Christmas.”

DJ just laughed. “Oh, yeah, like that’s going to happen.”

“Why not?” Taylor looked slightly hurt.

“Seriously, Christmas in Las Vegas?”

“Why not?”

“Well, besides the fact that it sounds totally crazy. I know that my grandmother would never—in a million years—agree to something like that.” And the truth was that DJ was secretly relieved for this excuse. Because, really, the only thing she could imagine being worse than spending Christmas with Grandmother in Connecticut, or even her father’s step family in California, would be to spend Christmas in Las Vegas with Taylor Mitchell.

Chapter 2

“Why don’t you just go to the dance with Conner?” demanded Casey as DJ drove them home from school on Tuesday.

“I agree with Casey,” said Taylor. “Why don’t you just get it over with and say you’ll go?”

“I agree too,” chimed in Rhiannon. “Just go, DJ.”

“You know you want to,” urged Casey.

“Yes, I’ve admitted that,” said DJ. “But I just don’t want to risk hurting Haley again. She’s been through so much already.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” pointed out Rhiannon.

And, sure, DJ knew that she hadn’t been the one to push Haley into her “fake” suicide attempt—an attempt that nearly killed her. But DJ cared about Haley. She didn’t want to take any chances.

“But you said that when Haley was in the hospital, she told you that she was fine with you and Conner getting back—“

“Sure, she said that. But who knows how she really feels? Or even how she feels now?”

“Where exactly is she now?” ventured Taylor.

“I’m not supposed to say.”

“We know it’s some kind of loony bin,” said Taylor. “Why not just be honest and tell us?”

“It’s not a loony bin.” DJ scowled at Taylor as she stopped for the light. “If you must know, it’s a therapeutic clinic in New Jersey.”

“Tomatoes, to-MAH-toes. Same thing, Deej.”

“Whatever. The point is I don’t want to hurt her.”

“I know what you’re worried about…” Taylor was using that sly tone she sometimes put on to get DJ going. “You think Haley’s thugs are going to beat you up again, don’t you?”

“I do not.” Okay, the truth was, that was a little worrisome. DJ had done what she could to befriend Bethany and Amy while Haley was still in the hospital. And while Amy showed some signs of understanding, Bethany (a very large and athletic girl) was another story. Bethany was fiercely loyal to Haley. So much so that DJ sometimes secretly wondered if Bethany had feelings beyond just friendship for Haley. Okay, that was dumb. But Bethany was scary.

“Why don’t you just call Haley?” suggested Casey. “Ask her how she feels about it?”

“That seems a little harsh,” pointed out DJ. “I mean she’s being treated for suicide and I’m calling up to see if it’s okay if I go to the Winter Ball with the guy she almost OD’d for? Maybe I should ask her about my dress too and if I go for a white gown is it okay to wear white shoes after Labor Day?”
“Yeah, that does seem a little harsh,” agreed Rhiannon.

“So, really, you guys can give it up okay,” said DJ. “I think Conner already has.”

“I just feel sad that you’re the only one in Carter House who’s not going,” said Rhiannon.

“Well, don’t.” DJ turned onto their street, eager to end this conversation. The truth was DJ felt a little sad about the whole thing herself. In fact, it seemed a little unfair. But it also seemed like the mature thing to do. As far as Crescent Cove High and the world at large were concerned, she and Conner were still just friends. And that’s how she planned to keep it until she knew that Haley could handle it.

“So, do you think Rhiannon and I could borrow your car?” asked Casey. “We still have a few things to pick up for the dance.”

“Sure…” DJ pulled into the driveway, suddenly feeling even more out of it. “You mean this afternoon?”

“If you don’t mind…”

“We’d ask you to come along too,” said Rhiannon in an apologetic, “but that might seem crass…considering you’re not going to the dance…”

“Hey, why don’t we all go,” suggested Taylor suddenly. “You two can hit your retro stores and DJ can help me pick out some really hot shoes.”

“Okay,” said DJ, actually feeling eager. “And I’ll just pretend like I’m going to the dance too.”

“Who knows,” said Casey, “maybe we’ll change your mind.”

“Or maybe just talk you into a new pair of shoes,” teased Taylor.

So off they headed to the mall. And for a while DJ even pretended that she, like them, was getting ready to go to the dance. She even held up some dresses and imagined she was going.

“Oh, DJ,” said Taylor as DJ held up a garnet red sequined number. “That is really hot.” She shook her head. “And most people say blondes can’t wear red.”

“Well, I’m just a dishwater blond,” DJ reminded her.

“Why don’t you just go?” demanded Taylor. “If it makes you feel better, send Haley a note to explain it. Sheesh, she’s in therapy anyway…might give her something to talk about during one of her group sessions.”

DJ couldn’t help but laugh. Still, it seemed mean.

“Seriously, DJ. You might be doing her a favor to go. Kind of a reality check. I mean it’s about time Haley figured out that, even though she tries to kill herself, she can’t control other people. If a guy doesn’t like you, he just doesn’t like you. Get over it already.”

DJ considered this. As harsh as it sounded, it was probably true. “I don’t know…”

“Look, DJ,” said Taylor. “I know you’re trying to be nice—the goody-good girl. But have you considered the possibility that you’re just being codependent?”

“Huh?”

“You actually have some codependent traits.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, your desire to keep everyone happy and—“

“I do NOT try to keep everyone happy.”

Taylor laughed. “That’s right. You usually try to make me miserable.”

“I do not.”

“See,” said Taylor, like that proved her point.

DJ felt confused.

“All I’m saying is that you and Conner go tiptoeing around, pretending you’re not dating so that you can protect Haley’s delicate feelings while she’s in the loony bin and you think you’re helping her? What happens when she’s back in the real world and you and Conner, say, want to go to the prom, do you blame yourselves if Haley gets hurt and goes and jumps off a bridge? Will you forever be responsible for Haley and the choices she makes?”

“That does sound a little creepy…when you put it like that.”

“It sounds unhealthy and codependent to me.”

“So?”

“So, stop it!”
DJ pulled out her phone now and hit Conner’s speed dial. “Conner,” she said in a firm voice, “do you still want to take me to the Winter Ball?”

“Of course.”

So she quickly replayed what Taylor had just said and Conner actually laughed. “Well, I can’t believe that the roommate from hell could just tell you what I’ve been saying to you for weeks, but you would listen to her and not to me.”

“Sorry,” said DJ. “Sometimes God works in mysterious ways.”

Taylor frowned at her with arms folded across her chest and toe tapping.

“Anyway, if you’re okay, I’m okay,” said DJ. “But I plan to write Haley a little note to let her know what’s up. I think it’ll just be kind of like an I’m-thinking-of-you sort of email, and then I’ll casually mention that we’re going to the dance next weekend. Does that sound okay?”

“I don’t think you even need to do that much, DJ.”

“I just want to.”

“Yeah…that’s just one of the things I like about you.”

She smiled. “Okay, then…sounds like it’s a date.”

“You bet!”

“By the way, the dress is red.”

“Right…does that mean I need a red tux?”

DJ laughed and whispered to Taylor, “Conner just asked me if he needs to get a red tux.”

Taylor snatched the phone. “Not red, you idiot.” Then she told him specifically what he needed and where to get it before she handed the phone back to DJ.

“Sorry about that,” said DJ.

“No, it’s actually helpful. But I probably should’ve been taking notes.”

“I’m sure Taylor can write it down for you.”

“Guess I can tell the guys to put me down for the stretch limo now. Harry’s already ordered a Hummer.”

“Sounds fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” said Conner. “This will be our first real date in a long time.”

“Date?” DJ echoed as the meaning of the word sank in.

“Well, it is, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…” she nodded slowly. “I guess so.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah…I’m just getting used to the idea.”

“Have fun shopping.”

“Thanks.” DJ hung up and looked at Taylor. “I guess we’re going.”

“Of course, you’re going.” Taylor shoved the red dress at her. “Now, try this on. I think it’s you’re size, but I’ll grab a couple of others just in case.”

After several tries, DJ found the perfect fit and when she came out to show Taylor, a couple other shoppers paused to look. Everyone agreed that it was perfect. DJ spun around. “It feels so good to be in a dress like this without a big old cast on my foot.”

Taylor laughed and explained to the bystanders that DJ had recently recovered from a broken leg.

“You look stunning,” said the sales woman. “Do you want me to start writing it up for you?”
DJ paused. “Oh, I didn’t even look at the price.”

“Just put it on granny’s account,” ordered Taylor.

“But I—“

“Trust me,” said Taylor. “If necessary, I’ll do the explaining. But I know that you’re grandmother would want you to have this dress, Desiree!”

“Yes, Desiree,” said the sales woman, “I’m sure she would.”

But while Taylor was taking the dress up to the counter, DJ called her grandmother and quickly explained. “And Taylor insists it’s the perfect dress,” she said finally, “but I think it’s a bit ex—“

“If Taylor says it’s perfect, it’s perfect,” proclaimed Grandmother. “And I’m so pleased to hear you’re going to the Winter Ball, Desiree. I didn’t want to say anything, or to make you feel badly, but I was terribly disappointed when I heard you hadn’t been invited.”

DJ almost pointed out that she HAD been invited but that she’d declined, but then she realized it would make no difference. Grandmother, as usual, would draw her own conclusions. Why bother? “Thanks, Grandmother,” she said brightly. “And now I’ll need shoes and—“

“Of course, you will. Ask Taylor to help you with those too. Her taste is as impeccable as her looks.”

“Okay….” What Grandmother didn’t know never failed to astonish DJ. Still, everyone knew that Taylor was Grandmother’s prize pony.

“The second-hand shoppers just called,” said Taylor after the saleswoman put the dress on her grandmother’s account and handed over the sleek garment bag. “I told them the good news and that it’ll take us at least an hour to snag the other things you’ll need.”

“They were okay with that?”

“Sure, Rhiannon said they’d just grab the metro back to town.”

“They didn’t mind using public transportation?”

“You know those two.” Taylor shook her head. “The grittier it gets the happier they are.”

“Did they find what they’re looking for?”

“Sounded like it.” Taylor hurried DJ along. “And I just remembered a great pair of shoes that I noticed several shops back. I think they’ll be perfect with that dress.”

“Grandmother knew you would.”

Taylor looked curiously at DJ then laughed. “Well, of course!”

By the time they finished, DJ was starving. “Let’s get something at the food court,” she urged Taylor. “I’m craving real food.”
Taylor looked like she was going to turn up her nose, but then she noticed the new Japanese place. “I could go for sushi.”

“No,” said DJ, pulling Taylor by the arm. “I mean real food. You’ve been bossing me around the fashion arena, I’m going to boss you around the cuisine arena. We’re having pasta.”

“Pasta?” Taylor’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah. And, trust me, we’ve done enough walking and shopping that you don’t need to worry about the calories.”

And so they didn’t. And as they sat there slurping up linguini with pesto, DJ thought there might be hope for them yet. After all, hadn’t this been a fairly normal shopping trip? Just two friends out getting ready for the Winter Ball? And yet DJ knew Taylor well enough to know that Taylor could pull the rug out from under her at any given moment. And while that was kind of exciting—in an adrenaline rush sort of way—it was also a little frightening.

Chapter 3

“Show and tell,” said Eliza as soon as DJ and Taylor came into the house with their arms loaded up with bags.

“What?” Taylor frowned at Eliza.

“Come on,” urged Eliza in her southern singsong voice. “Show and tell.”
Taylor rolled her eyes. “In your dreams.”

“But I showed you girls my dress on Sunday night,” she protested.

“Showed off, don’t you mean?” Taylor just kept walking up the stairs.

“Come on, DJ,” urged Eliza. “Don’t you want to show us your dress? We already know that you’re going to the dance.”

“Who told you?”

“Your grandmother,” Kriti informed. “At dinner.”

“So you’ve decided that Haley can just go take a flying leap?” teased Eliza.

“No. I realized that I was doing her no favors by sparing her from the truth.” DJ looked up the stairs. Taylor was already in their room. “My roommate helped me to see the light.”

Eliza laughed loudly.

Now Rhiannon and Casey looked down the stairs. “Did you find a dress?” called down Rhiannon.

“Yes, but Taylor and DJ won’t let us see their dresses,” Eliza called back up.

“I didn’t say that.”

“So, can we see?” asked Eliza hopefully.

“I’ll think about it,” said DJ. Then she ran up the stairs.

“We’re watching a chick flick down here,” said Kriti. “If you’re interested.”

“Thanks,” said DJ. “But I have homework.”

“And we’re designing,” called Rhiannon.

“So we’ve heard,” Eliza called back. “Not that we’re interested. Are we, Kriti. Who cares what everyone else in the house is wearing. We know that we’ll look great.”

DJ couldn’t help but laugh as she went up the stairs. Why was it so vital for Eliza to know what everyone else was wearing? Of course, DJ knew the answer to this. It’s like everything was a competition with that girl. A competition where Eliza Wilton had to come out on top. And DJ had seen Eliza’s beautiful white dress. To be honest, it could’ve passed for a wedding dress. A comment that Taylor made, but not in such a flattering way. But there was no denying that it was beautiful—in a confectionary sort of way. All sparkly white and fitted, and Eliza did look like a princess in it. Fitting since Eliza probably did consider herself to be royalty. At least in Carter House.

And Kriti had looked like a nice little lady in waiting to Princess Eliza in her red velvet gown. Although DJ had thought it hadn’t done much for Kriti’s shape. Not that Kriti had a bad shape. But the velvet seemed heavy and awkward and probably added pounds, which didn’t help since Kriti was much shorter than the other girls, and not as slender. Anyway, it seemed that the dress overwhelmed her. But Eliza had proclaimed it perfect. And for a handmaid, it probably was. Poor Kriti. Still, she seemed happy with her lot in life—catering to Eliza.

“Want a sneak peek?” whispered Rhiannon once DJ was at the second floor landing.

“Of you guys?”

“Yeah, but we’d like to see your dress too.”

“Sure.” DJ slipped into their room, unzipping her bag to reveal the scrumptious gown.

“That’s gorgeous,” said Rhiannon with an affirming nod. “Really, really beautiful.”

“Swanky,” teased Casey.

DJ frowned.

“But pretty,” Casey said quickly.

“Thanks. Now, show me what you guys put together.” DJ looked around the messy room. Rhiannon’s sewing machine was still out and there were pieces of dresses and scarves and fabric strewn all about. “It’s certainly interesting in here.”

Rhiannon went over to her sewing machine and lifted up what appeared to be a pile of varying shades of green fabric. But when she held it up it turned into what looked like an incredible creation. “What do you think?” she asked hopefully.

“I think it’s fantastic, Rhiannon.” DJ went closer to examine it. Constructed of all different types of green fabrics, scarves, ribbons, beads and trims and yet it didn’t look goofy or homemade. “It’s amazing.”

“Isn’t it?” said Casey with pride. “I can’t believe she made this from scrap.”

“From recycled dresses and blouses and whatever I could find that worked,” said Rhiannon.

“You could sell clothes like this,” said DJ.

“And you don’t need to worry about anyone wearing the same dress,” added Casey.

Rhiannon laughed. “For sure.”

“Hold it up,” urged DJ.

Rhiannon held it in front of her, and those rich green tones against her pale skin and vibrant red hair looked absolutely stunning.

“I can’t imagine anything more beautiful,” said DJ. “It’s perfect.”

“I told her she looks like a Celtic goddess,” said Casey.

“It’s certainly magical. It reminds me of Ireland…or fairies.”

“Thanks so much, you guys!” Rhiannon was beaming now. “It’s kind of hard, you know, not having money like some people and trying to keep up with…well, everyone.”

“There’s no need to keep up with me,” said Casey.

“What are you wearing, Case?” DJ turned to look at her.

“Just like I said.” Casey opened her closet and pulled out something that looked like a cross between a string corset and a multi-ruffled petticoat. “And I’ll wear my black motorcycle jacket and fishnets and boots. You know, the rocking retro thing.”

“Eliza’s going to love this,” teased DJ.

“I think that’s why she’s doing it.” Rhiannon got a slight frown. “Just to get Eliza’s goat.”

“And to express my individuality,” proclaimed Casey.

“You’ll both be one of a kind,” said DJ. And a part of her wished that she’d used more ingenuity for her own gown. But, to be fair, creativity was not her strong suit. And she’d always been fashion-challenged.

As DJ zipped her gown back into the bag, Casey chuckled. “With you in that dress, Princess Eliza will probably be pea green with envy.”

“I doubt that,” said DJ. “But it’s fun making her wait.”

“Princess Eliza needs to learn that she doesn’t rule Carter House,” proclaimed Casey defiantly.

“Yeah,” agreed DJ, “This isn’t Eliza-lot.”

Rhiannon laughed.

“Thanks for showing me your dresses.” DJ headed for the door.

“And you promise you won’t show Eliza?” Casey peered at her.

DJ shrugged. “Don’t know why I should.”

Casey gave her a thumb’s up.

Of course, DJ felt slightly guilty now. It’s not like she specifically wanted to mean or to exclude Eliza. But sometimes Eliza was so pushy. Oh, she’d do it in that sweet southern style. But it felt pushy all the same. And, knowing that Eliza’s parents were from one of the wealthiest families in the country didn’t make it any easier to be nice. And, really, this wasn’t Eliza-lot!

“Did you see Rhiannon and Casey’s dresses?” Taylor asked with mild interest, not even looking up from her fashion rag.

“Yeah.” DJ hung her dress in the closet. “Rhiannon’s is spectacular.”

“Really?” Taylor set the magazine aside.

“Like it could be in a movie spectacular.”

Taylor’s brow creased slightly. “Maybe we should pay the girl to start designing for us.”

DJ picked up her laptop then sat on her bed. “You know…that’s not a bad idea, Taylor.”

“We’d have our own designer originals and Rhiannon could make money for college.”

DJ stared at Taylor in wonder. “Sometimes you blow my mind, Taylor.”

Taylor looked surprised now. “Huh?”

“You can be…kind of mean sometimes…and then surprisingly nice.”

Taylor just shrugged then returned to her magazine. “We all have our faults.”

DJ laughed and opened her laptop. “I guess….”

But before DJ even started her homework, she decided to write Haley the promised note. She and Haley had emailed a few times (not daily) since Haley had gone to Oak View for treatment. Finally, DJ felt like the note had just the right tone to it. Light and encouraging, but honest and to the point. She read through it one more time.

Hey Haley. I hope you’re doing well. Life around here is pretty much the same. School is boring. Finals are impending. And everyone is counting down the days to Christmas break. Everyone but me that is since all I get to do is stick around Carter House with my grandmother. Big thrill. I just wanted you to know (from me and not someone else) that I’m going to the Winter Ball with Conner next Saturday. The main reason I decided to go was because he felt left out since all his friends were going. And I suppose I felt left out too. I wish you were around so you could go to. I know there are dozens of guys who would jump at the chance to take you! And I hope it’s not upsetting for you to hear that Conner and I are going to this dance together. I know you said that it’s over between you two. But I don’t want to make you feel sad. Catch ya later. Love, DJ.

DJ said a quick prayer for Haley then hit send. Really, she told herself as she switched gears to homework, Taylor was right. This might be one more step in Haley getting over it. And if it wasn’t, well, wouldn’t it be better for Haley to be where she had professional help anyway? Still, DJ decide this would be even more motivation to keep praying for Haley. She really did want her to get well—and soon. Hopefully Haley would be back to normal and back school after winter break.

The next three days at school seemed focused on two things—and really, DJ thought, it seemed crazy—but everyone was either talking about the upcoming dance or complaining about finals. Kind of a dichotomy. But by the end of the week, DJ realized that a lot of the talk and excitement weren’t only about the dance, but about what was happening “after the dance.”

It turned out—big surprise here—that some of the guys had rented some hotel suites in the same place where the Winter Ball was being held. And there was no mystery as to why they’d done this. Oh, sure, DJ had overhead guys saying things like, “We just want to keep the party going,” or “we need a place to just relax and hang.” But DJ was pretty sure she knew what it was all about. And she mentioned this to Conner as they were going into the cafeteria for lunch on Friday.

“I’m assuming that you had the good sense not to rent a room?”

He looked shocked then chuckled. “Well, I’m not a saint, DJ. But, no way! You know I would never do something like that.”

“Besides being a waste of money, you’d end up dancing by yourself at the Winter Ball.”

“Trust me, I know that.”

She laughed. “Well, actually, I’m sure there are plenty of girls who’d want to dance with you, Conner. But I wouldn’t be among them.”

“Thanks.” He grinned. “I got that.”

“So what’s up with these guys?” she said quietly since they were getting into the lunch line now. “I mean like I even heard that Harry talked Josh Trundle into going in with them.” I glanced to see if Kriti was around. “And I just can’t imagine that Kriti would go for that.”
“Unless Eliza talks her into it.”

“Good point.”

“And I’m sure you’re aware that your roommate is on the guest list.”

“Not that she’s told me, but I assumed.” DJ rolled her eyes as she picked up a tray.

“I heard that Garrison is in on it too. He and Seth reserved an adjoined suite.”

Now this surprised her. “Does Casey know?”

Conner shrugged as he reached for a burger.

DJ sighed. “I wish our friends would just act like normal teenagers.”

Conner laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

DJ had to laugh too. “I don’t know…I guess I just wish everyone wasn’t so into playing grownups. Won’t we get there soon enough?”

Unfortunately Madison Dormont overheard this. And she laughed so loudly that she snorted. Then she took off and DJ could only assume she ran to tell her friends. Not that DJ cared. Sometimes DJ wanted to shout her opinions from the rooftops. “Everybody just chill!” she would scream at the top of her lungs. “You don’t have to drink alcohol or do drugs or have sex or break the rules to have fun in high school. News flash—it usually turns out to be exactly the opposite!” But DJ figured most kids wouldn’t listen. Or if they were listening they’d probably pretend like they weren’t.

Just the same, she decided to bring it up at Carter House. But not while her grandmother was listening. They were just finishing up dinner. Grandmother had excused herself—she and the general were meeting for dessert, which was probably in the form of an after-dinner drink. DJ thought it was somewhat unusual that all six girls were still sitting around the table on a Friday night. But there hadn’t been a basketball game, or anything else it seemed, to tempt anyone besides Grandmother out on a cold blustery evening in East Connecticut. And DJ supposed, because of the big night planned for tomorrow, everyone was taking it easy tonight.

“So I hear some of the guys are planning an all-night party tomorrow,” DJ mentioned casually.

“Are you coming?” asked Eliza.

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

Eliza laughed. “I didn’t think so.”

“I’m curious as to how you explained this to my grandmother.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Nothing…just that I’m curious.”

“You’re not planning ratting on us, are you?”

DJ innocently held up her hands.

“I’m not completely sure that I’m going yet,” said Kriti quickly.

“Good for you.” DJ smiled at her.

“Yes,” agreed Rhiannon. “That’s the wise choice.”

“Not that she’s made up her mind,” said Eliza with a cool smile.

DJ turned to Casey now. “So how about you?”

“What?”

“You’re joining in the all night party?”

Casey shrugged. “I told Garrison we could go up there for a while.”

“For a while?”

“Yeah…what’s wrong with that?”
“What do you think is wrong with that?”

She shrugged again. “Nothing. We’ll just hang and party a while. Then I’ll come home. No big deal.”

“And do you honestly think that’s why the guys are shelling out the big bucks to rent these expensive suites?” DJ asked her. “Just to put your feet up and have a few laughs?”

“Why not?”

“You don’t think they expect anything in return?”

“Oh, DJ, lighten up,” said Eliza. “Maybe we do just want to hang and have a few laughs. What is wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong is that you know that’s not what this is about, Eliza.”

Taylor, who had been silently watching had a very sly grin on her face, but she still didn’t say anything. So DJ turned to her. “Tell them, Taylor. Why do you think the guys are renting hotel suites tomorrow night?”

“Why not?”
“See,” said Eliza. “Even Taylor gets that it’s no big deal. I don’t see why you and Conner don’t pop up to check on us if you don’t believe it.”

“Yeah, right.” DJ glanced at Rhiannon for backup now.

“I have to side with DJ on this,” she said firmly.

“What a surprise,” said Eliza. “But, really girls, if you’re so sure that we’ll be up there having some big orgy, why don’t ya’ll pay us a little visit?”

“Maybe we will,” DJ said hotly.

Taylor laughed. “You will not.”

DJ sighed in resignation. “Probably not.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” began Casey, “I’ll lay my cards on the table with Garrison.”

“Meaning what?” DJ challenged her.

“I’ll tell him that if he’s asking me up there to have sex, then he’s out of luck.”

DJ nodded. “I can actually imagine you saying that,” DJ told her. “But I wonder if Garrison will take you seriously?”

“That’s a good point,” said Rhiannon. “It’s like saying one thing and doing another.”

“Like you tell a guy no and then you follow him up to his hotel room,” DJ added. “What’s that really saying?”

Casey seemed to consider this.

“I think Josh would understand,” said Kriti quietly.

“I’ll admit that Josh seems like a mature kind of guy,” DJ told her. “But he’s a guy.”
“That’s right,” said Rhiannon. “I thought Bradford was more mature too…” She glanced at Taylor, as did everyone else. “But I’ve been disappointed.”

“All I’m saying,” DJ said to everyone except Rhiannon. “Is that if you go up to the suite with your boyfriends, no matter what they say, they will want things to go further.”

“And, really,” said Eliza in an exasperated tone, “is that any of your business, DJ?” She stood like she was leaving and Kriti stood, too, just like her puppet or puppy dog or lady in waiting.

“Because we live under the same roof and because some of you are my friends…yeah, I think it is.”

Taylor narrowed her eyes at DJ. “So what are you saying, DJ? Are you threatening to tell your grandmother? Because, if that’s the case, I will have my alibi ready.”

“So will we,” said Eliza. She was obviously speaking for Kriti too.

Casey said nothing.

“All I’m saying is that I hope you all use good sense tomorrow night.”

“Your good sense?” asked Taylor. “Or our own?”

“Whatever.” DJ rolled her eyes, wondering why she’d even bothered.

“Nice try,” said Rhiannon after the other four had left.

“What’s the point?”

“Do you think that’s how God feels when he sends warnings to us?”

DJ sighed. “I don’t know….”

“Well, people have the right to make their own choices,” Rhiannon reminded her, “and their own mistakes.”

And, although DJ knew Rhiannon was right, she still wished there was something she could do. But sometimes the only thing to do was to pray. And maybe that wasn’t such a small thing.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.  Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks!  Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes!”

Matthew 18:1-7

I wrote about my sewing goals in Sewing Stash Reduction, and now have an update for you.

1. I have not purchased anything new, but need to get some aqua thread, red piping and navy bias tape next week.  Since all these are to complete works in progress, they don’t count against my goal of not adding to my stash.  The challenge will be to not purchase anything else while I’m in the fabric shop.
2. I’ve managed to complete one UFO started two years ago and now in my gift box.
3. I did not meet my goal of completing one Christmas ornament each month.  I will have to make two during February.  I received some crocheted ornament patterns for Christmas and was checking them out last night.  I want to make them all.  They are so cute.
4. I’m doing very well with my decluttering and organizing of my former dungeon.  I gave up doing what I kept doing over and over without making any progress.  I was always starting on the same side of the room and seemed to get no where.  This month I started on the opposite side and have really been turning the dungeon into my sewing sanctuary.  I have been spending time at my machines and totally enjoying it.  In the midst of my cleaning and tossing I realized my room didn’t have to be perfect in order to sew.  I just had to be able to get to my machines.  I’m not sure if I’ll have the room turned around by Valentine’s day, but it won’t matter.  Now that I’m getting it dug out, it’s exciting enough to keep me going. 

How have you all been doing?  I know that there are other ladies out there who set a goal of cleaning out and organizing their sewing rooms.  Please share your progress with us.  Join in my excitement.

Breaking news alerts have come in from both The New York Times and The Washington Post. I think we all pretty much knew what would happen with Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich.  Without a dissenting vote, the Illinois State Senate found him guilty of abuse of his office. He was the eighth governor in United States history to be impeached and the first in 21 years.  Check these papers for more details.

Blagojevich now joins these seven U.S. governors who have  been impeached and removed from office.  According to The Boston Globe, they include:

WILLIAM W. HOLDEN of North Carolina, 1871.

DAVID BUTLER, Nebraska’s first governor, 1871.

WILLIAM SULZER, New York, 1913.

JAMES E. FERGUSON, Texas, 1917.

JOHN C. WALTON, Oklahoma, 1923.

HENRY S. JOHNSTON, Oklahoma, 1929.

EVAN MECHAM, Arizona, 1988.

Washington’s a mixed bag right now.  Some things make me smile.  Others feel a little scary.  But it’s early, so we need to give Obama more time to see where things will go.  It appears that just about everything will go whichever way he decides they should go, since he has majority rule in the legislature.

I read that A 20-year-old man in Champaign, Ill will be outfitted with a tracking device that can track his movements.  So, is he under house arrest for some kind of crime?  No, he’s ill.  The man has TB, but will still have his movements restricted until he completes treatment.  The only thing this man has going for him right now is the fact that the local health district will be picking up the tab for it all, including his medication and rent.  Does he have a say in any of this?  Well, he does have a choice.  He can go to jail instead.  All this because he might spread the disease.  Has anyone checked on all the irresponsible people who are HIV positive or have AIDS? Are we going to start putting them under house arrest?  What if they have visitors come to the house.  Is there going to be someone guarding this man to make sure no one comes in and gets breathed on?  What about the children who end up with chicken pox or measles?  Are we going to toss them into juvie?  When something like this starts, where does it stop?  You can read this United Press International story here.

Here is the third chapter of Leo Babauta’s Thriving on Less, the companion ebook to his The Power of Less. 

Chapter 3 – Thriving on Less, Not Struggling

“Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion.”

– The Talmud

Scaling back your life and living more frugally can be seen in two ways:

1. It can be a struggle, as you are sacrificing many things and living less comfortably.

2. Or … it can be incredible, as you are sacrificing consumerism for a life filled with the things you love, a life you’ve always wanted.

And it all depends on your mindset. Do you want to focus on what you are giving up, or on what you really love? I’ve found it to be really useful to focus on the positive, and to

learn to thrive within a simple, frugal lifestyle by filling my life with things that give me joy and satisfaction.

You can live life now and enjoy it to the fullest – without destroying your future. The key to doing that? Find ways to enjoy life completely, utterly, maximally … that don’t cost your future very much.

Here are some tips for actually living that philosophy:

* Find free or cheap pleasures. Frugality does not have to be boring or restrictive … if you use

your imagination. Be creative and find ways to have fun – loads of it – without spending much

money. Have a picnic at the park, go to the beach, do crafts, board games, fly a kite, make art, bake

cookies … I could list a hundred things, and you could come up with a few hundred more. Make a

list of simple pleasures, and enjoy them to the maximum. This is the key to the whole idea of

enjoying life now without spending tomorrow’s dollar.

* Make simplifying fun. I’m a big fan of simplifying my life, and to me, it’s great fun. I get rid of

stuff (and possibly make money selling it) and have a blast doing it. That’s good math.

* Make people a priority. If you give “stuff” a priority – things like gadgets, nice furnishings,

nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. – then you will spend a lot of money. But if you make people a

priority – the people you love most, you close friends and family – you don’t need to spend a dime

to enjoy life. Make some time to visit with friends, or your parents … and have a conversation with

them that doesn’t involve eating out or going to the movies. Just sit, have some iced tea or hot

cocoa (depending on the weather), and talk. Tell jokes and laugh your heads off. Talk about books

Thriving on Less : Simplifying in a Tough Economy 8

you’ve read, movies you’ve watched, new things going on in your life, your hopes and dreams. And

make time for your kids or your significant other – really spend time with them, doing things that

don’t cost money.

* Find time for yourself. Make time every day, and every week, to spend time alone. It really

gives more meaning and enjoyment to your life, rather than rushing through life with no time to

think, to breathe.

* Sometimes, splurge. You shouldn’t restrict yourself from expensive pleasures all the time –

it’s not good to develop the feeling of deprivation. To prevent that, once in awhile, buy yourself

something … or better yet, give yourself a decadent treat. I love things with dark chocolate or

berries. Crepes with ice cream and berries are one of my favorites. Just don’t go overboard … and

learn to enjoy the splurge to the fullest. If you truly take the time to enjoy a treat, you don’t need a

lot of it.

* Track your successes. It doesn’t really matter how you track your success … you can use gold

stars for creating a new simplifying or frugalfying habit, or a spreadsheet chart to track your

decreasing debt and increasing savings or investments. Tracking is a great way to not only provide

motivation, but make the process of changing fun.

* Reward yourself. And in order to make it more fun, celebrate every little success! Set rewards

for yourself (not too expensive!) along your path to success – celebrate one day, two days, three

days, a week, two weeks, three, a month … you get the idea.

* Volunteer. One of the most rewarding things for my family has been when we have managed to

volunteer. It’s actually something we only started doing last year, but since then, we’ve done it a

bunch of times in a number of different ways. And while it doesn’t cost a dime, it is tremendously

satisfying in ways that money could never buy.

* Live in the moment. Learn to think not so much about the past or future, but about what you

are going through right now. Be present. It may seem trite, but it’s the key to enjoying life to the

fullest – without having to spend money. Think about it – you can spend money on eating out, but

if you are not really thinking about what you’re eating, you may not enjoy it much at all. But if you

cook a simple but delicious meal, and really taste every bite, it can be tremendously enjoyable

without costing a lot.

* Slow down. In the same way, you can’t really enjoy life to the fullest if it’s rushing past you like

it’s on fast forward. Ever think about how quickly a week, a month, or a year goes by? Perhaps

you’re in the fast lane too much. Try slowing down, and things will be less stressful and more

enjoyable. (See The Power of Less for more on living slower.)

* Learn to find cheap, cool stuff. Call me crazy, but I love shopping at thrift stores. You can

find so many cool things there, and it costs so little. Garage sales are the same way. Or check out

Freecycle.com, or the library, or used bookstores.

Thriving on Less : Simplifying in a Tough Economy

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.”
– Madeleine L’Engle

“To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.”
– George Orwell

“Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny.”
– Don Sutton

“Inspiration is a guest that does not willingly visit the lazy.”
– Pyotr Tchaikovsky

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.”
– Raymond Charles Barker

“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: Try to please everybody all the time.”
– Herbert Bayard Swope

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
– Anna Quindlen

“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”
– Winston Churchill

“The Noah rule: Predicting rain doesn’t count; building arks does.”
– Warren Buffett

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein