What Do I Do About All These People?

May 5th, 2013

First posted April 17, 2008

I’ve been reading more from The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel.  If seems as if one can get into an incredible amount of trouble with the people encountered while traveling. It does not seem implausible that one can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and end up in the midst of a riot.  There’s so many of them going on around the world these days.

So here I am peacefully walking through Tiananmen Square and the students decide to riot again.  How am I going to get out of this mess?  Advice for this is “Plan to leave the country quickly.”  I would like to, but how do I get out of the middle of this riot so that I can leave the country?  I’m getting advice here that assumes I’m in my hotel room rather than in the midst of this riot.  I’m being told to wear muted tones.  Well too late.  Spring’s in the air so I decided to wear my Hawaiian shirt out on my stroll through the square.  I’m advised to exit through windows, vents, the roof or where ever I can to avoid the mobs and gunfire.  Hello!  I’m in the middle of the mob and here come the military with their guns and other weapons that could injure me big time!  Also, I should leave as a group.  How does a solitary tourist morph into a group?  How about this next tidbit? Do not run as walking is harder for the eye to detect. Also, running may generate excitement.  I don’t think there can be any more excitement generated among this mob.  They’re already at fever pitch and running around like crazy.  I’m not sure I can walk.  I want to run.  The adrenalin is already running high, and besides, I now need to find a bathroom or I’m going to pee my pants.  That’s called FEAR!

This book tells me if I need to travel by car that I should be prepared for evasive maneuvers.  I also know what to do now if my car is hit by a Molotov cocktail.  Well, I’m not in a car. I’m still on foot here in this square which I now wish I had decided not to visit.  What if one of those cocktails hits my body instead of the car I wish I had at the  moment?  I think I may need a good strong cocktail to drink right now, but no one seems interested enough to hand me one in all this bedlam.  “Get to an embassy or to the airport as soon as possible.”  I wish I could.  GET ME OUT OF THIS MOB!  Oh, Shit!  Now some of them have grabbed me and have decided to hold me hostage.

That’s okay.  The next section is about how to survive a hostage situation.  I wonder if they’ll let me use the bathroom?  First piece of advice – stay calm.  Okay, okay.  I’m calm now.  This book also reminds me that hostage takers are extremely nervous and scared.  More than me?  If shots are fired I’m supposed to keep my head down and drop to the floor.  No problem there.  That gun is pointed at me.  I think I will drop without any effort on my part.  No sudden or suspicious moves such as trying to hide your wallet, passport or belongings.  They already have my wallet, passport and contents of my backpack (which has already been tossed out the window of a speeding car).  Comply with all demands.  No problem there.  Never look at a terrorist directly.  They’re terrorists? I thought they were angry, crazed students.  The blindfold takes care of this.  “Carefully observe the characteristics and behavior of the terrorists.”  I just told you I have a blindfold on!  Be more observant here.  “If a rescue team enters, get down and stay still.”  How am I going to know if the people storming through the door are part of a rescue team?  I still have that scratchy blindfold on.  Does this mean I don’t get to go to the bathroom yet?

I’m skipping the section on how to pass a bribe.  These people already took everything I own.  Same goes for how to foil a scam artist.  I no longer have anything to scam.

Okay, the rescue squad is through the door and apparently the terrorists are dead or vaporized.  Someone’s removing my blindfold.  Holey, Moley!  I’ve been rescued by aliens who want to abduct me.  No problem.  What does my handy, dandy little book tell me about how to get out of this one?  “Do not panic.”  Don’t worry.  Fear has me paralysed.  “Control your thoughts.”  Is this some kind of cruel joke?  My thoughts are controlling me.  There’s only one thought running through my mind right now.  Enquiring minds want to know.  Are you sure you want to know what that one thought is?  You asked for it.  “Now I’ve really got to pee!”  Then I’m supposed to resist verbally.  How about this?  “I will not go with you unless you let me go to the bathroom first.”  Next thing on the list is to resist mentally by putting myself in a protective shield of white light or a safe place.  I’m going to my safe place, my sunny island with all the gentle breezes.  Next I’m told to resist physically.  I don’t have to.  I just peed my pants and ET’s leaving in disgust.

Pick 2 Day 4 Giveaway

May 4th, 2013

Each day for seven days I will be giving away books to celebrate my five year blogging anniversary. I will give you at least three books. I will give you links to reviews for these books. Read the reviews and pick two books that you would like to receive and leave me a comment. If you want an extra entry, link to my blog and leave a comment saying so.

There will be a random drawing seven days from the giveaway post. I will post the winner, but also you via email. I’m sorry, but due to the cost of postage I will have to limit the contest to U.S. addresses only.

Today’s books are devotional and Bible study.

Good Luck!

Worst-Case Scenario

May 4th, 2013
First posted April 10th, 2008

I’ve been traveling through the Worst-case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht. Oh, my gosh!  A disclaimer at the very beginning tells us not to attempt to undertake any of the advice offered therein.  What to do?  Consult a professionally trained expert.  I’m sure I’m going to remember that when I’m out in the middle of some desert trying to control a runaway camel. (Hold onto the reins, but do not pull back.  Pull hard to the side so that the camel will run in a circle.  When he gets tired and sits down, jump off.) Why was this book written?  I guess so people like me will buy the book before reading the disclaimer (not that I’m sure I ever want to be in any of these very interesting situations).

The section on how to stop a runaway passenger train is interesting.  Essentially, you locate the emergency brake and pull the handle.  Of course, there’s a possibility of that act causing a train derailment.  I’m sure that somewhere in this handy, dandy little book is a section that tells what to do in case of a train derailment.  I couldn’t find that section, but on page 73, it tells how to jump from a moving train.  I guess you’d better jump fast and wide before it stops moving and falls over on you.  Or maybe, if you think and act quickly enough, you can jump from the side away from the fall.  Do you really have all that much notice before a train derails?  None of the trains I’ve been on have derailed.

It must be safer to travel by plane.  Oops.  Here’s a section on how to crash land a plane on water.  The first thing you do is take your place at the controls (if you can get past security and the barricaded door to the cockpit), put on the radio headset and call for help.  Can’t you just hear that helppppppp as you’re making a nosedive towards the water? Then it starts to get technical.  Forget that, baby.  Put on your life-jacket, open the door and jump before your big bird makes a big splash.

Maybe you prefer to travel more sedately.  Even a car is not all that safe.  Not only can you have a runaway camel or a runaway train, you can also have a runaway car.  How do you stop a car with no brakes?  The first thing this book tells you to do is pump the brakes.  What brakes?  I thought the car had no brakes.  Oh, I see.  You might be able to build up enough pressure in the braking system to slow the thing down a bit.  My car is careening out of control, my leg feels like it’s going to fall off from pumping the brakes that aren’t there and the next thing you tell me is “Do not panic.”  Yeah, sure.  I darned well will panic unless I’ve figured out how to get out of the seat belt/shoulder harness contraption, get the door unlocked and jump from a moving car!

Another bit of advice is to pull the emergency brake – but not too hard.  That is, unless you’re running out of room and need to try a “bootlegger’s turn.”  Then you have to “yank the emergency brake hard” while making a quarter turn to whichever way is safer.  Hurry, choose between the cliff edge on your right or the traffic speeding towards you on your left.  If you’re running out of room because that Sunday driver in front of you is blissfully unaware that you are coming up behind him like a speeding bullet, you can try to get his attention by honking or flashing your lights.  If it’s some little old man that’s been driving along with his turn signal blinking for the last 30 minutes, I don’t think you’ll be able to get his attention.  Just run into him and that will slow you down.  If there’s no car in front of you, look for something to help stop you.  Maybe there will be a cow in the middle of the road, or a herd of goats crossing to the other side.  Step 10 and last in the advice regarding runaway cars is “If none of the above steps has enabled you to stop and you are about to go over a cliff, try to hit something that will slow you down before you go over.”  There it is.  I see something I can hit before I go over the cliff.  It’s the guardrail.  Oh, crap!  There’s a big hole there where the last car hit it while driving over the cliff.

Okay, I’ve found something that has to be safer.  A horse!  Only they also have a tendency to run away.  If you’re old enough, you’ve seen a few westerns.  There’s at least one runaway involved, usually a stagecoach or a lady driving a horse and wagon.  I don’t know what you’re supposed to do if you’re in one of those, so just saddle up and ride the animal.  Then when he decides to runaway, just hold on tight to the saddle with your hands and thighs.  I wonder why I’m not supposed to hold onto the reins and try to rein in the beast.  Read further, Nancy.  Read further.  Oh, I do get to hold onto the reins, but with only one hand so I can get a death grip on the saddle horn with the other.  If for some reason you got crazy and decided to ride bareback, don’t waste your time trying to find a saddle horn to grab.  Grab the horse’s mane.  Now alternately tug and release the reins with a medium pressure.  I know you’re in the middle of a good panic, but don’t wimp out and not pull hard enough.  Definitely do not pull too hard.  You could cause the horse to stumble or lose his balance.  You have to know what’s coming next.  That sucker is going to fall over and you’re not going to have time to get your foot loose and figure out how to jump from a moving horse without doing a great deal of damage to yourself.  And if you can’t figure that out and execute the maneuver in a couple seconds, you’re going to end up with a large beast falling on top of you.  I don’t even want to think about those sound effects.  Of course, you can do what you would do if you were on your runaway camel.  Pull the reins to one side so the horse will go in a circle.  When he starts to either slow down or get dizzy and stagger, dismount immediately and get the heck out of Dodge!

I’ve been thinking about going to Miami to visit my friend, Sue.  I wonder how long it would take to walk there.

Pick 2 Day 3 Giveaway

May 3rd, 2013

Each day for seven days I will be giving away books to celebrate my five year blogging anniversary. I will give you at least three books. I will give you links to reviews for these books. Read the reviews and pick two books that you would like to receive and leave me a comment. If you want an extra entry, link to my blog and leave a comment saying so.

There will be a random drawing seven days from the giveaway post. I will post the winner, but also you via email. I’m sorry, but due to the cost of postage I will have to limit the contest to U.S. addresses only.

Today’s books are historical romances.

Good Luck!

How Juggling a Journal Made Me a Heartbroken Lover

May 3rd, 2013

First posted April 1, 2008 – the beginning

I’ve  been writing in journals on and off most of my life.  I chose the name “Island Breezes” for the journals of my later life.  I have to admit that I’ve been unfaithful . I would cling to my journals and write up a fury when I was upset, hurt or in the midst of the many crisis laden times in my soap opera life. Then I would neglect them during sunny days.

Well no more.  I have periodically tossed out my journals like young lovers I’ve outgrown.  Now that I’m more experienced I’ve left them behind for my Sunny Island Breezes.  I did attempt to procure the Island Breezes name for my site, but as I feared an old nemesis stole my first love when I was young and inexperienced on the net.  If I had been “around the block” more times, so to speak, I would not have lost that love to internet land.  I very naively gave an online mini-journal that beloved name and had it callously ripped away from my heart by someone more experienced.  This person purloined my love and tried to sell it back to me as a domain.  Heartbroken, I cried “How dare you,” as I turned my back on that unfaithful love and fled.

Ah, but now I know that  young love can be so very foolish.  When we’re hurt, we can toss it all out, the good along with the bad.  So I wept and vowed I’d not let anyone come into my life and hurt me again.  Only a fool would show back up on the internet for more abuse!

But boys and girls, here I am!  Back with sunny days, lounging on the beach of my mind, feeling the gentle breezes of the palms and ready to let a new love back into my life.

And now you are in on the birth of Sunny Island Breezes.  Share my private island with me and tell me where you would like for us to travel together.  The world is a big, wonderful place.  Fasten your seatbelt.  We’re ready for take off!

Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn Nook HD Giveaway and Facebook Party {5/9}!

May 2nd, 2013

Guideposts Books is celebrating the release of their new Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn series with a fun giveaway and a Facebook party on May 9th.

Misty-Harbor-Series-300
One fortunate winner will receive:

  • A Nook HD
  • Seaside Harmony and Sunflower Summer by Evangeline Kelley

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on May 8th. Winner will be announced at the Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn Author Chat Facebook Party on 5/9. Connect with Patti Berg, Pam Andrews, Barbara Hanson, and Camy Tang (who collaborated together under the pen name, Evangeline Kelley) for an evening of book chat, trivia, and fun! There will also be great giveaways (gift certificates, books, and more) as well as a sneak peek at the next book in the series!

So grab your copies of Seaside Harmony and Sunflower Summer and join readers just like you on the evening of May 9th for a chance to connect with the authors and make some new friends. (If you haven’t read the books – don’t let that stop you from coming!)

Don’t miss the fun. RSVP today and tell your friends about the giveaway via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on the 9th!

Seaside Harmony & Sunflower Summer

May 2nd, 2013

Seaside Harmony & Sunflower Summer
By Evangeline Kelley

The Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn series (Guideposts Books) introduces readers to Caroline, Gracie and Sam as they gather for a vacation where they spent the summers as children, and follows their adventures as they fulfill their mother’s dream of opening a bed and breakfast. As the sisters heal from their mother’s passing, they bond in ways they never imagined and discover evidence of God’s hand in the unlikeliest of circumstances.

A team of four authors come together under the pen name of Evangeline Kelley to bring the unique personalities of each sister to vivid life and welcome audiences to the charming and historic island of Nantucket, complete with cobblestone streets, quaint shops, ferries, sandy beaches and salty air.

Three sisters, a charming inn, hints of mystery and romance, and a gorgeous seaside setting. Summer reading at its finest!

When Caroline Marris joins her sisters, Gracie Gold and Sam Carter for a Nantucket Island getaway, she has no idea how it will change her life. The sisters stumble upon Misty Harbor Inn, the place their late mother loved so much, and Caroline talks her sisters into buying the beautiful but dilapidated inn. But can free-spirited Caroline stay focused enough to make opening the inn a reality? Hand-drawn old postcards draw the sisters into the mystery of Hannah Montague, the young widow of the original owner. Can the sisters uncover the fate of this woman who disappeared in 1880? As Caroline and her sisters work together to make their mom’s dream a reality, they bond in ways they never expected.

?  Misty Harbor Inn officially opens, and Gracie Gold, the middle Marris sister, wrestles with an overwhelming decision. As the sisters learn the day-to-day workings of running an inn, Gracie counsels its first guests, newlyweds whose honeymoon seems to be ending before it begins. Meanwhile, Sam’s discovery of a clue in a secret room sheds unflattering light on Hannah Montague, who vanished from the house more than one hundred years ago. And as Gracie and Caroline welcome guests to the inn, they are delighted to see how God uses it — and them — to deepen relationships and transform lives.

ISLAND BREEZES

I read the wrong book first, but it turns out that Sunflower Summer is a good stand alone read. Reading Seaside Harmony made a lot of what happened then stand out more.

These two books show three sisters’ desire to make their mother’s dream come true. That was a dream of living on the island year round.

These very different sisters have to learn to work and live together in harmony as they restore and run an old inn.

Along the way they become intrigued with the mystery surrounding the disappearance of the original owner’s young widow.

I would really like to spend time at this inn in real life and get to know the sisters better. They already feel like friends. I’m looking forward to the next Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn.

***A special thank you to litfuse for providing review copies.***

Evangeline Kelley is the pen name for the writing team of Patti Berg, Pam Andrews & Barbara Hanson, and Camy Tang, the four authors who collaborated to create Postcards from Misty Harbor Inn. Each of them has published novels individually, but this is their first series together.

Pick 2 Day 2 Giveaway

May 2nd, 2013

Each day for seven days I will be giving away books to celebrate my five year blogging anniversary. I will give you at least three books. I will give you links to reviews for these books. Read the reviews and pick two books that you would like to receive and leave me a comment. If you want an extra entry, link to my blog and leave a comment saying so.

There will be a random drawing seven days from the giveaway post. I will post the winner, but also you via email. I’m sorry, but due to the cost of postage I will have to limit the contest to U.S. addresses only.

Today’s books are Amish/Mennonite.

Good Luck!

How to Tame a Flying Mouse

May 2nd, 2013

Another favorite from the past.

I’ve finally been able to get my mouse under control enough to write my welcoming post.  I shared some of my coffee (just two drops) with my old mouse and he, being the ungrateful wretch that he is, did not appreciate it.

Ummm!  I can still taste that cup of coffee.  It was darn good and my generosity should have been rewarded with smiles and hard work.  Instead, no matter how I pampered, dissected and bathed him with the finest of canned air, he remained stubborn.  I sweet talked, coerced, begged, threatened and cried.  It got me no where!  Ungrateful little wretch!

I babied and coaxed him.  I lavished special attention on him any time I was home.  He teased me and would work properly just long enough to get my hopes up.  Then he would bulk, stall, skip around and defy me.  I work long shifts on the weekend, but came home eager for my date with that cute little mouse.  Oh, how I sweet talked him.  Ungrateful little wretch!

I gave him one more chance this morning before dashing out to the Office Depot on the corner and replacing that little hunk of junk with a new, shiny, happy mouse.  This little baby will not get the chance to share any of my coffee.  I’m afraid he might be as fickle and unappreciative as my former friend.

This little one is taking me to new heights.  He flies.  I’m having to work very hard to tame him a bit.  He runs all over the place and flies off the page every chance he gets.  But he makes me smile.  I’m going to fly with him.   Join me every day and go flying with us.

Pick 2 Day 1 Giveaway

May 1st, 2013

Each day for seven days I will be giving away books to celebrate my five year blogging anniversary. I will give you at least three books. I will give you links to reviews for these books. Read the reviews and pick two books that you would like to receive and leave me a comment. If you want an extra entry, link to my blog and leave a comment saying so.

There will be a random drawing seven days from the giveaway post. I will post the winner, but also you via email. I’m sorry, but due to the cost of postage I will have to limit the contest to U.S. addresses only.

Today’s books are cookbooks.

Good luck!