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Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series—a celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writers. I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.

AND . . . do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful handcrafted pearl necklace and a JOYN India bag. Enter at the bottom of this post. The contest runs 5/4-5/13, and the winner will be announced on 5/14. Contest is only open to U.S. residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info, subscribe to our blog, and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith to help support Pearl Girls™.

My Final Words to My Mother By Lisa Takeuchi Cullen

The day had come.

My mother lay pressed against her pillow, her skin like baking paper, her limbs disposable chopsticks. She had not moved or spoken for days.

In those last days we rarely left her side, my three siblings and I. Between us we had eleven children, the youngest my newborn, whom we had baptized a week ago right here by my mother’s bedside. The children tumbled and danced around the hospice floor, admonished by us to keep quiet, keep quiet! They had already said their good-byes to Nana. Now it was our turn.

The hospice nurses had told us of the final signs. She will cease to wake, even briefly. Her fingers and toes will turn blue. Her breathing will grow shallow and ragged.

Then we heard it. My mother took a breath. That’s all it was—a sip of air. We knew it was time. We rushed around her, my siblings and I, and all together began to sob.

And this is what I said to my mother before she died: “I’ll be all right, Mommy. Don’t worry. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right.”

Not “I love you.” Not “I’ll miss you.” Not “thank you for everything.” Why? I asked myself that night as I cradled my colicky newborn, both of us wailing. Why did I choose that moment to inform my mother of my own well-being? Why did I feel this was the very thing she needed to know as she drew her last breath?

It took me years as a parent to understand: As mothers, that is exactly what we want to know. We want to know our children are safe. We need to know they’ll be all right as they journey into the world without us by their sides.

I don’t know if my mother heard me. But if she did, I hope my final words eased her journey just a hair. That she believed and trusted in my well-being, and then let go.

Lisa Takeuchi Cullen is the author of Pastors’ Wives, a new novel from Penguin/Plume, and The Ordained, a 2013 CBS drama pilot. Previously, she was a staff writer for Time magazine. Readers can friend her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @lisacullen, or visit her website at www.lisacullen.com.

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First posted June 4, 2008

Just writing those words makes my mouth water.  Ackee and saltfish is the national dish of Jamaica.  Throw in the rice and peas and I can hardly stand it.  Jerk chicken at the Pork Pit in Mo Bay.  Buffet at the WW in Ochie.  I’m craving some good home cooking like my mother never cooked.  I’ve spent enough time working and playing in Jamaica and the West Indies that when I think of home cooking, that’s where my mind turns.  Oh, and some proper carrot juice.  Not the health food stuff!  The good stuff that comes from the Caribbean.  When I moved back to this area I was so looking forward to many visits to Cephas’ Hot Spot, a small Jamaican restaurant where my taste buds were never disappointed.  But, alas, the irony of it all.  The Hot Spot disappeared in a fire while I was out running around the Caribbean.

I made a short stay in Ormond Beach, FL before moving back home.  I found a very good, authentic restaurant there where I could purchase a meal along with a few groceries.  I was even able to buy hard dough bread.  It was the same brand I used to buy from the grocery in Ocho Rios.  Two things they didn’t have were Blue Mountain coffee or the carrot juice.  They had tried selling the carrot juice when they first opened, but gave up on it as there just weren’t enough people trying it.  There isn’t a very big West Indian community there, and as the owner/cook told me, “Not enough of the Americans know what’s good.”  Oh, my.  What they’re missing!

Times change and I’ve been gone from home too long.  At least the butcher shop where I buy goat to curry is still there.  I’m still looking and will not stop until I find the little grocery stores and restaurants that carry all the good things.  Until then, I still have a bit of a supply on hand.  I’m off to the kitchen to rustle up some ackee and saltfish.  It’s usually a breakfast dish, but I could eat it three times a day and be ready for more the next day.

Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series—a nine-day celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writers. I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.

AND . . . do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful handcrafted pearl necklace and a JOYN India bag. Enter at the bottom of this post. The contest runs 5/4-5/13, and the winner will be announced on 5/14. Contest is only open to U.S. residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info, subscribe to our blog, and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith to help support Pearl Girls™.

The Pursuit of Imperfection by Beth Vogt

In my early mommy-ing years, I was all about perfection. I wasn’t going to be just a good mom—oh, no. I grabbed the virtual performance bar and shoved it way out of my reach.

It didn’t take long for that bar to come crashing down on my head. Perfection was toppled by the harsh reality that, at times, I was an angry mom. I hit my knees and begged God for forgiveness, for patience, for the ability to love my children one day at a time . . . sometimes one hour at a time.

I embraced 1 Peter 4:8: Love covers a multitude of mistakes, even altering it a bit so that it met my need. My version of 1 Peter 4:8 became: Love covers a multitude of mommy-mistakes. There was no way I could pretend that I was perfect, but I could do everything possible so that my children knew that I loved them, despite my imperfections.

Fast forward through toddlers and teenagers to being the mother of a twenty-something son, two late-teen daughters, and one (surprise!) elementary-school-age daughter.

During lunch one day with Katie Beth and Amy, my two oldest daughters, Katie Beth looked at me and asked, “Do you want to know what the best thing was about you as a mom?”

Did I? How could I say no to an unexpected “her children will rise up and call her blessed” moment? I assured Katie Beth I absolutely wanted to know the best thing about me as a mom. She looked at me and said, “The best thing about you as a mom was that you weren’t perfect.”

Oh. I admit I expected something . . . more. I joked with my daughter, telling her I wished she’d told me this sooner, as I wasted too much time trying to be perfect. We all laughed and the conversation moved on.

A few weeks later as a prepared a talk on motherhood and perfection for a moms group, I asked Katie Beth, “Can you tell me again why not being perfect was the best thing about me as a mom?”

She emailed me a letter that read: So many kids grow up thinking their parents are up on this pedestal. They think their parents can do no wrong, but then when they fail at something or make a mistake . . . it can tend to devastate those kids. Also, it taught me that being a Christian does not equal perfection. So many people think because they are a Christian they have to be perfect, and I learned from you that, while you are a very loving mother, you are not perfect. It helps me know you don’t expect me to be perfect.

Our children don’t want perfect moms—but they do want to know we love them. And maybe by admitting we’re not perfect, our kids will avoid the perfectionist trap too.

Beth K. Vogt believes God’s best is often behind the doors marked “Never.” After being a nonfiction writer and editor who said she’d never write fiction, Beth has proudly authored two novels, Wish You Were Here and the newly released Catch a Falling Star. Connect with Beth at bethvogt.com.

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Couponing for the Rest of Us

By Kasey Knight Trenum

Founder of Time 2 $ave Shows Busy Woman How to Save Big
Without Spending Hours a Week Clipping Coupons

Couponing expert Kasey Knight Trenum will be the first to tell you that she does not like coupons. But she does love saving money. Faced with mounting bills after her husband was downsized five years ago, Trenum turned to coupons to plug the hole in their savings account. She spent hours researching how to use coupons effectively and easily reduced her family’s weekly grocery bill by 75 percent. “I’ve learned how to balance savings with having a life and without it becoming an obsession,” says Trenum. “I’ve never woken up singing the praises of a coupon; I’ve just sung the joys of saving a ton of money.”

Trenum shares the ins and outs of couponing and all the secrets she’s put to good use over the years in Couponing For the Rest of Us: The Not-So-Extreme Guide to Saving More. With her help, readers will discover ways to save hundreds of dollars every month and ultimately improve their family’s finances without letting it take over their lives. Couponing for the Rest of Us shows readers:
·    Where to find coupons for what your family eats
·    How to make the internet do the work for you
·    How to find sale cycles and store match-ups (and what those terms mean!)
·    How to reinvent your shopping strategy and toss your lists
·    How to make grocery shopping less stressful – even fun!
·    How to turn money saved into money shared
·    Make couponing fit your life not become your life

“If you’re worried that you aren’t a coupon kind of girl, don’t,” writes Trenum. “You don’t have to be in love with coupons. You don’t have to compute math in your head. And you don’t have to set aside hours each week just to work on your coupons. I can’t stress enough – balance is the key to making couponing work for you. You have to figure out how to make it fit into your world; it cannot become your world.”
After shoppers started following Trenum out to her car to find out how she was getting such good deals, she realized she had a lifestyle solution she could share. She began teaching couponing workshops. In 2009, she co-founded Time 2 $ave, a frugal and couponing blog, to help others discover how to make couponing work for them. The silver lining to her savings from coupons became an empowering focus on giving to others.  She has helped thousands improve their lives and become purposeful givers.

ISLAND BREEZES

Everything you wanted to know about couponing and more.

Not everyone wants to become an extreme couponer, but the rest of us do want to save money at the grocery. Well, most of us regular folks who don’t have money to burn want to.

Does this economy have you saying ouch at the grocery (as well as lots of other places)? Then this book is for you.

Couponing can be easy without taking up a bunch of time. This book can get you started. If you already use coupons, this book can make it easier for most of us.

I know there are born organized people out there who maybe don’t need any help. Not me. I struggle to keep going without becoming sidetracked big time.

This book has been a blessing.

***A special thank you to Donna Hausler for providing a review copy.***

Kasey Knight Trenum is the cofounder of Time 2 $ave (www.time2saveworkshops.com), a frugal and couponing blog and conducts Time 2 $ave workshops frequently. Her weekly column can be read in Scripps newspapers nationwide, her work has been featured in Parade and All You and she has been interviewed on NPR’s All Things Considered and HLN’s Making it in America. She has a personal passion for seeing women, men and families find financial freedom, be empowered to improve their lives and become purposeful givers. She and her husband and children live in Tennessee.
Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, offers practical books for everyday life.  For more information, visit www.RevellBooks.com.

Available May 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Day three winner is Pamela who picked A Noble Groom. She’s been emailed to see which book she would like for her second book. Congratulations, Pamela.

First posted July 11, 2008

Hate is actually too strong a word to use for the feelings I’ve had towards Home Depot, but I’ve had no reason to not have an active dislike for them.  The attitude at Home Depot should be that of wanting to assist the customer by providing expertise and knowledge of what is needed to complete the DIY project.  With that type of caring and attitude, these employees would produce happy customers, thereby, ensuring the person’s return to purchase all the goodies needed for all future projects.  I’ve been less than enchanted by the general attitude and ineptitude that I encountered since purchasing my money pit last summer.

I told you about my little bathroom geyser last week. This is the rest of the story.  Handyman Joe picked up the vanity and drop in sink and counter top on Friday and put it in on Monday.  He hit a snag not too far into the job.  My faucets wouldn’t work with the sink.  It was either return the counter top/sink and exchange it or buy new faucets.  New faucets sounded easier than the exchange, so I went for the faucets while Joe kept on with the job.  It was a little enough problem considering that every job the money pit has needed so far turned into more of a problem than initially thought.  We were sure the floor under the old cabinet was ready to cave in or something.  The floor was in good shape, so needing faucets was no big deal.  Except that when I asked the guys in the bathroom goodies department last week, they said, “Don’t worry.  Your faucets will fit.”

I could either whine and get upset or go in and pitch a hissy fit.  If you don’t know what that is, ask your grandmother.  She’ll know.  She’s probably pitched a few in her life.  What I chose to do was go to the service counter, explain the situation and ask if they could put it on the 12 month, no interest plan with my purchases from last week.  The qualifier for that plan is to purchase something $299 or more and put it on your Home Depot card.  Now I want nice faucets since I plan to be looking at these things the rest of my life, but $299?  Get real. Besides, they were for my bathroom and not Consumer Man’s.  Don’t say anything.  I already used up most of my day’s allotment of nice at Home Depot.  But nice faucets don’t mean I’m about to pay anything near $299.

Dawn and Debra in the service department came through for me.  They called the credit card people, explained that I had been misinformed when I made last week’s purchase and now needed to purchase additional supplies.  Now I have an amount below $299 and so far above $100 that I don’t want to think about it added to my 12 month, no interest charge from last week.  I’m busy trying to dig myself out of debt and the money pit is trying to suck me farther into it.  That’s why I won’t charge anything without the no interest clause.  And I pay it off well ahead of time so that nothing odd happens at the end of the time frame.  It’s worked so far with all the things I’ve had to buy from Home Depot and for the central air conditioner.

This story has a moral.  Be nice and ask politely.  Sometimes it helps, but it never hurts to try.

Home Depot, I don’t hate you anymore, but I’m still not in love with you.  I surely do like you a lot more though.

First posted May 29, 2008

I miss the white nights in Helsinki.  Midsummer eve occurs in the midst of the daylight season.  It’s light night and day, day and night.  I feel a song coming on.  That’s in keeping with the spirit of Midsummer eve.  It’s a magical time of  Finnish traditions, handicrafts, folk dancing and music, food, laughter and street parties at this celebration.  Finally, it’s also warm out, sometimes reaching 70° F so that’s one more thing to celebrate.

Another part of the Helsinki summers is the ice cream.  That happens to be part of the winters as well, but the least bit of warmth in the air and crowds of people are out strolling and eating ice cream.  You can even eat garlic ice cream at the garlic restaurant. And like it sounds, everything is made with garlic. I think the only thing the Finns like better than ice cream are cell phones.  We’ve managed to catch up with the cell phone craze over here, but in the early 90’s about two out of every three Finns had a cell phone to their ear.  They were very adept at walking and talking without missing a beat.  I personally can either concentrate on walking or talking on the phone, but not both.  I like to stop and sit while talking.  When I’m on the move, I’m too busy taking it all in.

In Helsinki there are plenty of places to stop and sit.  There are little parks all over the place.  A lot of them have lilacs. I adore lilacs.  They have such a heavenly fragrance.  That’s one thing I missed after moving south.  Growing up in the Midwest we always had lilac bushes, but nothing like they grow in Helsinki.  Those babies are literally trees.  I used to pick off some of the flowers and hope I wouldn’t get arrested.  It was just too tempting.  I also liked to stop at a flower shop and buy bunches of lily of the valley; another flower that doesn’t like the south.  While we were in Finland, my cabin always had lovely fresh flowers.

If you’ve ever been to Helsinki, you know about Stockmann’s.  It is still my all time favorite department store.  I love Macy’s and Saks, but they don’t hold a candle to Stockmann’s.  The variety found there just makes your mouth water and your wallet cry.  It has all the normal department store type stuff plus a delicatessen, pharmacy, espresso shop, travel bureau, framing service, sauna equipment, custom made shoes, fitness center, and much, much more.  The only thing you can’t buy there is a washcloth.  Washcloths are not standard items in many countries.  I finally was able to locate a washcloth at The Body Shop.  Helsinki was the place where I was introduced to The Body Shop and it’s delights.

Okay, the night here is black instead of white and my body says it’s time to crawl between the sheets.  I could write for a long time about the pleasures of Helsinki, but I think I’ll just have to go to bed and dream about them.  Remind me some time to tell you about my night time snorkeling.

Lisa Takeuchi Cullen is celebrating the release of her debut novel, Pastors’ Wives, with an iPad Mini Giveaway and connecting with readers on Facebook on May 23rd

One winner will receive:

• An iPad Mini
• A $25 iTunes gift card
  

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on May 22nd. Winner will be announced at the “Pastors’ Wives” Author Chat Party on May 23rd. Connect with Lisa for an evening of book chat, trivia, laughter, and more! Lisa will also be giving away books and fun gift certificates throughout the evening.

So grab your copy of Pastors’ Wives and join Lisa on the evening of May 23rd for a chance to connect and make some new friends. (If you haven’t read the book, don’t let that stop you from coming!)

Don’t miss a moment of the fun; RSVP today. Tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning. Hope to see you on the 23rd!

Day two winner is Kaye who picked  A Cowboy at Heart and Unbreakable. Congratulations.