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The Tutor’s Daughter

 

By Julie Klassen

Emma Smallwood, determined to help her widowed father when his boarding school fails, accompanies him to the cliff-top manor of a baronet and his four sons. But soon after they arrive and begin teaching the two younger boys, mysterious things begin to happen. Who does Emma hear playing the pianoforte at night, only to find the music room empty? And who begins sneaking into her bedchamber, leaving behind strange mementoes?

The baronet’s older sons, Phillip and Henry Weston, wrestle with problems-and secrets-of their own. They both remember the studious Miss Smallwood from their days at her father’s academy. But now one of them finds himself unexpectedly drawn to her…

When suspicious acts escalate, can Emma figure out which brother to blame and which to trust with her heart?

ISLAND BREEZES

Emma seems destined to become a spinster. She spends her time assisting her father in his boarding school. Then the school begins to fail.

Emma’s letter writing campaign to gain new students takes her and her father to the manor of a baronet to tutor his two youngest sons.

Life there becomes a little too interesting as danger enters the picture. Threats and suspicious acts soon turn into attempts on lives.

Romance, mystery, ghostly acts and lots of suspense. You will even find piracy here. This book has it all.

***A special thanks to litfuse for providing a review copy.*** 

Julie Klassen loves all things Jane–Jane Eyre and Jane Austen. A graduate of the University of Illinois, Julie worked in publishing for sixteen years and now writes full time. She has won the Christy Award: Historical Romance for The Silent Governess (2010) and The Girl in the Gatehouse (2011) which also won the 2010 Midwest Book Award for Genre Fiction. Julie and her husband have two sons and live in a suburb of St. Paul, Minnesota.

http://litfusegroup.com/author/JKlassen

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

 

 

 

 

 

Cherie Calbom, MS, is the author of The Juice Lady’s Turbo Diet, The Juice Lady’s Living Foods Revolution, and Juicing for Life, which has nearly two million books in print in the United States. Known as “The Juice Lady” for her work with juicing and health, Cherie has taped HealthWatch for CNN and scores of TV and radio shows and has appeared in Shape, First for Women, Women’s World, Men’s Journal,Vogue, Quick & Simple, Marie Claire, and Elle Canada. Cherie earned a master’s degree in nutrition from Bastyr University, where she now serves on the Board of Regents, and has practiced as a clinical nutritionist at St. Luke Medical Center in Bellevue, Washington.

Visit the author’s website.

 

Juice and smoothies are sweeping the nation! Why? They’re fruity, delicious, easy to make, and packed with powerful nutrition. It’s no wonder everyone is enjoying the convenience and great taste of these healthy meal and snack alternatives. Bring your blender or juicing machine into the twenty-first century with the most updated versions of Cherie’s recipes to be found anywhere—more than just refreshment, these recipes enhance your energy and boost your mental and physical health.

Product Details:

List Price: $17.99

Paperback: 208 pages

Publisher: Siloam (January 8, 2013)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 162136030X

ISBN-13: 978-1621360308

ISLAND BREEZES

The Juice Lady’s done it again. I don’t know how she comes up with all these delicious drinks. She certainly knows how to give your blender and juice a workout.

If you’re a beginner, Ms Calbom starts you with the basics of how to juice. Then you’re on to all the glorious recipes followed by a chapter of juice remedies and rejuvenators. These not only taste good but are also targeted to specific needs.

I wasn’t sure about the green smoothie chapter.  It just sounds slimy. I was visualizing a big green Slurpee and that just turned my stomach a bit. Then I started reading the recipes and they started sounding really good. It’s not just blending up a big handful of grass or kale and drinking it down while holding your breath. These smoothies both look and taste yummy.
AND NOW…THE INTRODUCTION AND A FEW GREAT RECIPES! CLICK ON RECIPE PICTURES TO SEE THEM LARGER:

The Juice Lady’s Big Book of Juices and Green Smoothies

Introduction

MORE AND MORE celebrities, athletes, and people of all ages and walks of life are turning to juicing and green smoothies to lose weight and to improve their overall health. Why? Because they have found that juicing is changing their lives—giving them more energy, better sleep, stronger immune systems, brighter skin, and a younger appearance. It’s even helping their bodies heal from a variety of ailments. Below is a testimony I received recently from someone who has read my books and come to me for counseling.

It’s been about a month since you last spoke with me. You may not remember me because you talk with so many people. But I will never forget you. I told you about the more than fifty pounds of fluid I had retained. Using both natural and medical prescriptions, I had not been able to get rid of that fluid. I have also not been absorbing my food. You told me not to worry about my diet because I already had a healthy one but to add a green juice drink with every meal. About three weeks before I spoke with you I started drinking pure cranberry juice every day, and that was helping with the fluid. Over the three weeks I lost fifteen pounds, but I would bounce back and forth with my weight. When I added the green juice drinks, it put my body in high gear. I have lost thirty pounds. The water weight is literally just falling off of me.

You have no idea how much better I am feeling. I have energy and can physically work. I have not had energy or felt good since my last baby was born twenty-five years ago. I have not been able to push my body to work for the last five years. Now I am splitting firewood and stacking it. I shoveled rock for our drainage system in our yard. I can clean my own house again. Yesterday I cleaned house and stacked two cords of firewood. If you haven’t stacked firewood, let me tell you, that’s a lot of wood. And I can walk again. For the last two years I have been fighting just to walk up and down my short driveway, feeling totally exhausted and in pain afterward. Now I am easily walking a mile and have energy to burn. I feel great and have no pain when I’m finished. And my fibromyalgia pain is almost gone.
For the last five years I have been fighting to stay alive.

Now for the first time in years I feel alive. I am no longer on Lasix and have cut back most of my nutritional supplements. I was taking over $500 worth of supplements a month, and it was bankrupting us. Last year my doctor told me to apply for disability because my body was dying. I could no longer function. The naturopathic physician I used to work for told me that my husband and I needed to accept the fact that my body was dying. He told us to purchase better health insurance and prepare for the worst. I wish he could see me now.

Long story short, Cherie, I am so grateful to you for taking the time to talk with me. I know you probably hear stories like mine all the time, but for me it’s new and life saving. Thanks for pointing me to the path of life. You have been one of God’s blessings and a lifesaver in the most literal sense of the word.

I hope her story encourages you to juice every day. With more than four hundred delicious recipes, The Big Book of Juices and Green Smoothies can help you change your life, just as juicing has changed the lives of thousands of people who have adopted this plan for themselves—people just like me. My life changed years ago when I discovered the healing, vitality-producing power of freshly made juices and raw and whole foods.

Sick, Tired, and Completely Toxic

I sat by the window in my father’s home in Colorado staring at the snow-topped mountains in the distance, imagining that people were enjoying the hiking trails; perhaps someone was climbing the mountain that day. It was early June and a beautiful, sunny Colorado day. I wished I had the strength to just walk around the block. But I was too sick and tired—I could barely walk around the house. I had been sick for a couple of years and just kept getting worse. “Would I ever be well again?” I wondered.

I had to quit my job when I turned thirty. I had chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia that made me so sick I couldn’t work. I felt as though I had a flu that just wouldn’t go away. I was lethargic and constantly feverish with swollen glands. I was also in nonstop pain. My body ached as though I’d been bounced around in a washing machine.

I had moved back to my father’s home in Colorado to try and recover, but not one doctor could tell me what I should do to improve my health. So I browsed around some health food stores, talked with employees, and read a few books. I decided that everything I’d been doing was tearing down my health rather than healing my body. When I read about juicing and whole foods, it made sense. So I bought a juicer and designed a program I could follow.

I began my health program with a five-day vegetable juice fast. On the fifth day my body expelled a tumor the size of a golf ball. I was totally surprised that in five days this amazing result could take place. I never did have the tumor tested because I was too taken back and overwhelmed by the event. I just flushed it away.

I then continued to juice every day and ate a nearly perfect diet of live and whole foods for three months. There were ups and downs throughout. On some days I felt encouraged that I was making some progress, but on other days I felt worse. Those days made me wonder if good health was an elusive dream. I didn’t realize I was experiencing detox reactions—no one had told me about them. I was very toxic, and my body was cleansing away all the stuff that had made me sick.

But one morning I woke up around 8:00 a.m., which was early for me, without an alarm sounding off. I felt like someone had given me a new body in the night. I had so much energy I actually wanted to

exercise. What had happened? This new feeling of good health and vitality had just appeared with the morning sun. Actually, my body had been healing all along; it just had not manifested fully until that day. I felt such a wonderful sense of being alive! I looked and felt completely renewed.

With my juicer in tow and a new lifestyle fully embraced, I returned to Southern California and my friends a couple weeks later to finish writing my first book. For nearly a year it was “ten steps forward” with great health and more energy and stamina than I’d ever remembered. Then all of a sudden I took a giant step back.
The Night I’ll Never Forget

The Fourth of July was a beautiful day like so many others in Southern California. I celebrated the holiday with friends at a backyard barbecue. That evening we put on jackets to insulate against the cool evening air and watched fireworks light up the night sky. I returned just before midnight to the house I was sitting for vacationing friends, who lived in a lovely neighborhood not far from some of my family members. After such a full day I was in bed shortly after I arrived at the house.

I woke up shivering some time later wondering why it was so cold. I rolled over to see the clock. It was 3:00 a.m. That’s when I noticed that the door was open to the backyard. “How did that happen?” I thought as I was about to get up to close and lock the door. That’s when I saw him. Crouched in the shadows of the corner of the room was a shirtless young man in shorts. I blinked twice, trying to deny what I was seeing.

Instead of running out the open door, he leaped off the floor and ran toward me. He pulled a pipe from his shorts and began beating me repeatedly over the head and yelling, “Now you are dead!” We fought, or I should say, I tried to defend myself and grab the pipe.

Finally it flew out of his hands. That’s when he choked me to unconsciousness. I felt all life leaving my body. In those last few seconds I knew I was dying. “This is it, the end of my life,” I thought. I felt sad for the people who loved me. Then I felt my spirit leave. It felt as though it just popped out of my body and floated upward. Suddenly everything was peaceful and still. I sensed I was traveling through black space at what seemed like the speed of light. I saw what looked like lights twinkling in the distance.

But all of a sudden I was back in my body, outside the house, clinging to a fence at the end of the dog run. I don’t know how I got there. I screamed for help with all the energy I had. It was my third scream that took all my strength. I felt it would be my last breath. Each time I screamed, I passed out and landed on the cement. I then had to pull myself up again. But this time a neighbor heard me and sent her husband to help. Before long I was on my way to the hospital.

Lying on a cold gurney at 4:30 a.m., chilled to the bone, in and out of consciousness, I tried to assess my injuries, which was virtually impossible. When I looked at my right hand, I almost passed out again. My ring finger was hanging on by a small piece of skin. My hand was split open, and I could see deep inside. The next thing I knew I was being wheeled off to surgery. Later I learned that I had suffered serious injuries to my head, neck, back, and right hand, with multiple head wounds and part of my scalp torn from my head. I also incurred numerous cracked teeth, which led to several root canals and crowns months later.

My right hand sustained the most severe injuries. Two of my knuckles were crushed to mere bone fragments and had to be held together with three metal pins. Several months after the attack I still couldn’t use my hand. The cast I wore, which had bands holding up the ring finger that had almost been torn from my hand and various odd-shaped molded parts, looked like something from a science fiction movie. I felt and looked worse than hopeless. The top of my head was shaved, and my eyes were totally red and swollen. I had a gash on my face, a weird-looking right hand, terrorizing fear, and barely enough energy to get dressed in the morning.

I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t sleep at night—not even a minute. It was torturous. I was staying with a cousin and his family, so there was no need to worry about safety from a practical point of view, but that made no difference to me emotionally. I’d lie in bed all night and stare at the ceiling or the bedroom door. I had five lights that I kept on all night. I’d try to read, but my eyes would sting. I could sleep only for a little while during the day.

But the worst part was the pain in my soul that nearly took my breath away. All the emotional pain of the attack joined with the pain and trauma of my past to create an emotional tsunami. My past had been riddled with loss, trauma, and anxiety. My brother died when I was two. My mother died of cancer when I was six. I couldn’t remember much about her death—the memories seemed blocked. But my cousin said I fainted at her funeral. That told me a lot.

I lived for the next three years with my maternal grandparents and father. But Grandpa John, the love of my life, died when I was nine. That loss was very hard. Four years later my father was involved in a very tragic situation that would take far too long to discuss here, but to sum it up—it was horrific. He was no longer in my daily life. I felt terrified about my future. My grandmother was eighty-six. I had no idea how much longer she would live. The next year I moved to Oregon to live with an aunt and uncle until I graduated from high school.

As you can probably imagine, wrapped in my soul was a huge amount of anguish and pain—it felt like gaping holes in my heart. It took every ounce of my will, faith, and trust in God; deep spiritual work; alternative medical help; extra vitamins and minerals; vegetable juicing; emotional release; healing prayer; and numerous detox programs to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally. I met a nutritionally minded physician who had healed his own slow-mending broken bones with lots of vitamin-mineral IVs. He gave me similar IVs. Juicing, cleansing, nutritional supplements, a nearly perfect diet, prayer, and physical therapy helped my bones and other injuries heal.

After following this regimen for about six months, what my hand surgeon said would be impossible became real. My hand was fully restored and fully functional. He had told me I’d never use my right hand again, and that it wasn’t even possible to implant plastic knuckles because of its poor condition. But my knuckles did indeed re-form primarily through prayer, and my hand function returned. A day came when the surgeon told me I was completely healed, and though he admitted he didn’t believe in miracles, he said, “You’re the closest thing I’ve seen to one.”

It was a miracle! I had a useful right hand again, and my career in writing was not over as I thought it would be. In the end it seemed my inner wounds were the most severe and the hardest to heal. Nevertheless, they mended too. I experienced healing from the painful memories and trauma of the attack and the wounds from the past through prayer, laying-on of hands, and deep emotional healing work.

I call them the kitchen angels—the ladies who prayed for me around their kitchen tables week after week until my soul was restored. It seemed I cried endless buckets of tears that had been pent up in my soul. It all needed release. Forgiveness and letting go came in stages and was an integral part of my total healing. I had to be honest about what I really felt and be willing to face the pain and toxic emotions confined inside, and then let them go. Finally, one day after a long, long journey—I felt free. A time came when I could celebrate the Fourth of July without fear.
A New Beginning

When I look back to that first day in the hospital after many hours of surgery, it’s amazing to me that I made it. My hand was resting in a sling hanging above my head. It was wrapped with so much stuff it looked like George Foreman’s boxing glove. My face had a big cut running down the left side, and my eyes were red—very little whites. A maintenance man came into my room for a repair and did a double take. He asked if I’d been hit by a truck! He was serious. I felt like I had. As I lay there alone with tears streaming down my face, I asked God if He could bring something good out of this horror. I needed something to hang on to.

My prayer was answered. Eventually I knew my purpose was to love people to life through my writing, juicing, and nutritional information— to help them find their way to health and healing. If I could recover from all that had happened to me, they could too. No matter what anyone faced, there was hope.
Juice Recipes for Health and Healing

In the pages that follow, you’ll discover a wide variety of juices for every possible need and occasion. I have basic juice recipes for those who are getting started and want something simple. There are yummy fruit juice recipes for those with picky palates who want the sweet taste of fruit. Green juices are my favorite and offer the most nutrition; you’ll find a big selection of green juice recipes to choose from.

Check out the chapter on juice remedies and rejuvenators for juice combos that address what ails you. And I think you’ll really like the gourmet juice chapter that has a lot of unique combinations and delicious drinks. There’s also the green smoothie chapter with one hundred smoothie recipes and great combinations. And I also included my old favorites from The Juice Lady’s Turbo Diet and The Juice Lady’s Living Foods Revolution. Have fun trying some new and unusual combinations. There’s a lot to choose from with more than four hundred recipes.

And if you’re struggling with your health, there is hope for you, no matter what health challenges you face. Never, ever give up. There’s a purpose for your life, just as there was for mine. You need to be healthy and strong to complete your purpose. To that end, The Juice Lady’s Big Book of Juices and Green Smoothies can help you live your life to the fullest. My hope is that this book of delicious recipes will truly inspire you to juice each and every day and that you will experience firsthand the healing, rejuvenating power of fresh juice and green smoothies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

 

 

 

 

Linda Goff was obese for more than 20 years. She was told by a professor at one of the top journalism schools in the nation that her “look” wasn’t professional enough for television. When Linda left the university, she believed she had wasted four years of her life and thousands of dollars on an education that she could never use because of her size. God had other plans.

After her 155-pound weight loss, Linda quietly began writing again. She was hooked. A blog grew into a talk show on the CTN network and a weekly newspaper column – reaching thousands of readers every week with her message of healthy weight loss. Now Linda speaks with groups around the country and runs a comfort food test kitchen with her family and friends as official “tasters.” To get her latest low-cal comfort recipes, visit www.theskinnybudgetdiet.com.

 

Get the strategy that was created in the kitchen of a 300-pound wife and mother who couldn’t afford another expensive weight loss plan. There was no more room in the family budget for ordering diet foods and supplements through the mail, no money to buy ongoing weekly support, and no way to pay for a high-priced weight loss surgery. Linda Goff had to find budget-friendly way to lose half of her body weight and keep it off for good. The Skinny Budget Diet was born.

Read the secrets Linda shared with the Today Show, the Doctors, on the cover of Woman’s World Magazine, the HuffingtonPost, and Prevention Magazine. Inside this book, she will give you the step-by-step tools that allowed her to lose 155 pounds with sanity instead of starvation. You can eat normal meals with your family, drop the weight, and lower your monthly food budget.

Product Details:

List Price: $16.99

Paperback: 256 pages

Publisher: Siloam (January 8, 2013)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1621360016

ISBN-13: 978-1621360018

ISLAND BREEZES

This book certainly hit home.  How did she know what my life’s been like? Oh, yes. She’s been there; done that.

This book has a really good concept for someone who wants to be skinny but has a budget that’s already skinny.

You won’t just read about dieting and food choices here. If you have an overweight spouse or frindes, you may haveto deal with a diet saboteur. Learn why and how. You’ll also learn things like how to navigate the grocery store, deal with wardrobe malfunctions and stay at your goal weight when you finally arrive.

If you want to get the skinny on getting skinng and have a fatter wallet in the process, read this book.
AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

I WROTE THIS BOOK for you. And throughout these chapters you and I are going to get very close. There will be no such thing as TMI. I am happy to provide “too much information” on every page of this book if it will give you your life back. Want to hear about the roller coasters I couldn’tfit into or the lawn chairs I broke when I weighed three hundred pounds? You got it. I’ll even give you the blow-by-blow of how I shaved my legs every day without the ability to see my feet.

It may not be pretty stuff, but I think it is important for you

to understand that there is no such thing as “too broken” or “too

far gone.” And while I’m not a fan of beating myself up over bad

choices, you can learn from my twenty years of mistakes. I wasted thousands of dollars trying to buy my way out of obesity. It left me with a heavier body, heavier debt, and some heavy lies in my head: “I really shouldn’teat the rest of these cookies. Oh, go ahead. You are so fat . . . what’s a few more pounds? But what if I can’t find clothes that fit anymore? This little plate of cookies won’t make any difference. You work hard. You deserve a treat.”

I wish I could claim that underlying mental scars or repressed

abuse led to my constant cycle of overeating and guilt. It didn’t. I

could tell you that I was obese because of past pregnancies and

post-baby weight. My youngest son weighed more than twelve

pounds at birth. Twelve pounds! But that wasn’t the reason for my

obesity.

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I ate when I was happy—to celebrate friends and family, to

reward myself after a stressful day of work, even to enjoy my

favorite TV shows. I ate because food tasted good. When I left my

mom’s healthy table and went to college, I gained my “freshman

fifteen” and kept on going. I can’t blame my obesity on a thyroid

problem or even a slow metabolism. I ate myself to morbid obesity through daily, unhealthy choices—each seeming so small and insignificant at the time.

There are as many reasons for overeating as flavors at Baskin-

Robbins. You may have a story that is similar to mine, or your

story may be filled with true sadness. I understand that food can

be an anesthesia to make the world seem less painful or a weapon

to keep the world a safe distance away.

It is not my intention to minimize the underlying causes of obesity. We’ll get into some of these reasons in more detail as we work through this book. At the moment simply understand that your reasons for overeating can no longer be used as excuses to stay obese. Excuses (even excuses that seem valid) won’t make you one pound lighter. They serve no purpose for good.

Two Decades of Weight-Loss “Practice”

“Honey, you have such a pretty face. Have you tried losing weight?” I’m generally not a violent person, but questions like that made me see red. If I could have lifted my foot above my waist, I would have kicked these well-meaning, skinny people in the gut . . . or the ribs . . . or whatever thin people have around their waists in the place of fat. Have I tried losing weight? You can’t be serious!

I had more failed weight-loss plans in my past than candy wrappers on the bottom of my purse. Each one had a price tag. At the time did I understand the science of losing weight? You bet. I was an obese woman living in the United States. As a group we are probably more informed about calories and exercise than the general public. Ironic, isn’t it? I’ve spent hours watching people “sweat

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to the oldies” and sculpt “buns of steel.” I have vivid memories of

spreading cream cheese on a bagel while watching Tony Horton

sell his latest exercise plan.

I think the biggest myth going is that obese Americans don’t

understand how they became overweight and have no idea how to

lose it. Here is one lie that I always told myself: “I’m so confused.

I don’t know whether to count calories, carbs, or fat.” That excuse

was a great way to start a heated debate in any crowd and kill my

dieting plans before lunch.

The results of all these failed diet attempts were damaging—not

only physically but also spiritually. I began to truly believe that:

1. Losing weight the “old fashioned way” with diet and

exercise is too hard and takes too long.

2. People who lose weight and keep it off obviously

have more willpower than I do. “Face it, Linda.

There must be something wrong your character. You

are just too weak to lose weight.”

3. Maybe it is God’s plan for me to be this big. After all,

He created each one of us to be unique and different.

I’m supposed to be three hundred pounds.

Most of us are obese because we eat more food than our bodies

can burn, and we’ve been doing it for years. Mystery solved! What’s not as easy to understand is the role that the brain plays in this behavior. I’ve tried to honestly examine the choices I made at three hundred pounds, and the constant dialogue that ran through my brain. I think some of my daily thoughts about food may sound familiar to you. And so I present . . .

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Looking at my “Day in the Life of” menu, I don’t know whether

to laugh or cry. It is a true account of the crazy, internal battles of

an obese woman. Being this honest may not be easy for you, but

here is what I learned by writing down my daily menu:

1. I had no idea at the time how many calories I was

eating. If you quizzed me as I was brushing my teeth

before bed, I would have guessed that I’d eaten about

three thousand calories, not a button-popping fivethousand-

plus in just one day. I’d skipped the Coke,

potato chips, ranch dressing, and whipped cream.

That’s healthy, right?

2. Most of my food was coming from restaurants and

not grocery stores. This is an important thing to

realize . . . both in regard to maintaining a healthy

weight and a healthy wallet. More on this later.

3. I often ate while doing other things such as driving,

working, and watching television.

4. Frustration about dieting and weight loss was often

my first thought of the day and the last thing in my

head before falling asleep. So many precious hours

that I gave away to my obesity.

5. My size was changing my life: the clothes I wore, the

people I ate with, and the intimacy I had with my

husband.

As I was starting diet number forty-seven (or maybe it was diet

number forty-nine), I caught an interview with NBC weatherman

Al Roker in which he talked about his gastric bypass surgery. It

was a fascinating idea to me. You just make your stomach smaller

and force yourself to eat less food. If you screw up, you throw up.

Genius!

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I was now a woman on a mission, searching the web and reading

every magazine article I could find with details on the procedure.

The before and after pictures for celebrities such as Carnie Wilson, Roseanne Barr, and Al Roker were amazing. They had lost hundreds of pounds in a short amount of time. Gastric bypass surgery was going to be my answer, my quick escape from morbid obesity.

My Gastric Bypass Obsession

I contacted a surgical weight-loss center in 2002 and began the

long, pre-surgical process that included a consultation with a psychologist, an exam with my local doctor, and blood work. My primary physician went over the risks for gastric bypass surgery in great detail, and I’m sure that I smiled and nodded back when she told me that:

1. The procedure has a death rate that some doctors

estimate to be as high as one in one hundred. What

went through my head: “Those are still pretty good

odds, right?”

2. The surgery can lead to vitamin and mineral deficiencies

requiring daily supplements and B12 shots at

least once a week. My thoughts: “Maybe Flintstone

vitamins will come out with B12 in a gummy fruit.

That would be cool.”

3. There is a syndrome called dumping where your

food can move too quickly through the small intestine

causing nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting. Inside

my head: “Did she just say something about a dump?

What?”

There was a big disconnect between the information given to

me by my doctor and what I was focused on. When you believe

that gastric bypass is your only ticket out of morbid obesity, the

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risks don’t matter. I was willing to live with almost anything to be

thin . . . especially if the solution didn’t require a lot of willpower

on my part.

From all of my research I knew that qualifying for gastric bypass

surgery wasn’tgoing to be easy. I had to show my insurance company that I was unhealthy enough to need the procedure but healthy enough to live through the surgery. My weight wasn’t a problem. With a BMI (body mass index) between 47 and 48, I met that requirement. A healthy BMI range is between 18.5 and 24.9. I also had to show a history of failed dieting attempts. That was an easy requirement after two decades of being obese.

I was happy (practically giddy) the day I mailed my huge stack

of forms back to the surgical weight-loss center. Clearance from my doctor and psychologist? Check. Blood work proving that I didn’t have thyroid issues? Check. The name and policy number for my insurance company? Check. I was cleared to have the surgery and ready for takeoff.

Unfortunately my insurance company didn’t agree. My calls to

the surgical weight-loss center became more frequent as the weeks went by. A very patient lady in the admissions department gave me updates about her discussions with my insurance company. Even with gallbladder disease, occasional chest pains, and a scale at three hundred pounds, my insurance company said I didn’t have enough risk factors to justify the surgery. I wasn’t diabetic— yet. I didn’t have high blood pressure or breathing problems—yet. Basically I was too healthy.

From Little Control to Out of Control

The day I received the final no from my insurance company is

one I will never forget. I was crushed. I believed my insurance

company had just sentenced me to a lifetime of morbid obesity. I

was so angry inside I gave up on the idea of ever trying to diet or

exercise. If I needed to be “sick” to qualify for the surgery, fine.

Goff-Skinny.indd 8

Diabetes is common in my family, so I’ll just keep eating. Maybe

my insurance company will pay for the procedure if I weigh three

hundred fifty pounds. And I’m sure I will get the green light if I

weigh four hundred pounds.

Looking back, my daily plan to add another hundred pounds

was nearly flawless. It could have been called a personal weight-

gain plan. I ignored food labels, lived in the drive-through lane,

and ate whatever was put in front of me. I even stopped going to

the doctor so that I could skip that awkward “let’s get your weight” moment. I went three years without a yearly exam or checkup of any kind.

There are very few “before” pictures of me during this time. I

remember sitting in my car and going through stacks of developed

pictures. Before letting anyone else see the pictures, I would

throw away any photos showing my body (especially from the side). When my boys look back at their childhood photo albums, they are going to wonder if their mother ran off with the circus during this period of their lives. My kids loved disposable cameras and knew that they could take pictures of their dad, the dog, even our half-dead cat, but never, never take a picture of mom.

I was hiding from my appearance, and I honestly have no idea

how much I weighed at my heaviest. I do know that I didn’t fit in

airplane seats, roller-coaster seats, theater seats, or even the seats

at some of my favorite restaurants. How is that for irony? I was

wearing a size 4X, and buying clothes was a horrendous experience.

There are a few things in the world that I’ve always found impossible: folding a fitted sheet, safely clipping my cat’s claws, and finding size 26 clothes that made me “look skinny.” At three hundred pounds, shopping for jeans was an aerobic activity that often left me sweating. I’d walk into the dressing room, turn away from the mirror, and do the dance.

Do you know the one? You start by jumping up and down to

get the denim around your lumpy parts. Follow that up by lying

flat on the ground to get the jeans buttoned. If you are successful

Goff-Skinny.indd 9

with the first two steps, it’s time for the final challenge. You must

get back on your feet without popping a button or ripping out the

seams in your seat.

It was generally in these dignified moments that I asked myself,

“When did I get this large? What am I going to do when even the

plus size clothes are too small? How did I let myself get this out of control?”

I enjoy living in a small town, but the closest mall is more than

one hour away. I remember being so relieved when a local clothing store expanded their sizes beyond a 3X. It can be terrifying when

your body is too large to wear anything in the store. Forget about

dressing fashionably, I was just worried about dressing at all.

When My Bottom Hit Bottom

The stages of obesity are strangely similar to the stages of grief. If

you’ve struggled with your weight for a long time, you may see

yourself in one of the phases below. Because I’m such an overachiever, I had to hit all five stages before my bottom hit bottom. It was a twenty-year spiral down.

1. Denial: “I’m not obese. I just have a lot of curves.

This can’t be happening . . . not to me. Gaining a few

extra pounds is simply a part of getting older, right?

I don’t have the metabolism I had in high school, but

it’s not like I have a serious problem.”

2. Anger: “It’s not fair. If my spouse (children, friends,

coworkers, and so on) didn’t sit around eating

so many high-calorie foods, I wouldn’t have this

problem. How could anyone lose weight with this

many temptations? They are to blame.” Once we are

in the second stage, we recognize that denial cannot

continue.

Goff-Skinny.indd 10

3. Bargaining: “I know I have a problem. I’m going to

lose the weight but not today. My schedule is just

too hectic, and I’m too stressed out. I’ll start the diet

on Monday.” In this stage we want more time before

confronting the tough work we see ahead of us.

4. Depression: “Why even bother to try anymore?

What is the point of starting another diet? This isn’t

going to work anyway. I might as well eat whatever

I feel like. I’m always going to be fat.” This was

the stage for me where I gave up on weight loss and

exercise completely. I stopped going to the doctor

so I didn’t have to get on the scale, and I started

making fat jokes at my own expense to cover my

pain.

5. Acceptance: This is the hour, the minute, the second

when you finally hit bottom. If you’ve ever fought an

addiction and won, acceptance is a moment in time

you will never forget. Mine was a Saturday morning

in March 2007 at about 7:30 a.m. Oh yes, I can be

that specific.

I think the world has a misconception about acceptance. We

imagine people standing up, dusting off their hands, and working

to fix their problems. There is actually more to it than that.

Acceptance is when you are willing to put your trust in something

beyond yourself. It is an attitude that “I will do whatever it takes,

no matter how hard, because I can’t live like this anymore. I will

no longer value pride over health. I need help, and I’m not going to be afraid to ask for it.”

For the first fifteen years of my obesity I bounced from anger

(when a weight-loss plan didn’t work) back to bargaining (before I started the next diet). After being told no to gastric bypass surgery

Goff-Skinny.indd 11

by my insurance company, I finally slid into the depression stage. I gave up on weight loss and ate whatever was in front of me.

When I travel and speak with groups, I get these questions more

than any other: What happened in 2007? Why did you lose the

weight? That question makes me sweat! For more than a year I

gave the safe, comfortable answer that I wanted to be healthier

and set a good example for my children. And while that is true, it

wasn’t a part of my “bottom hitting bottom” moment.

I’m going to be honest here because I believe it is important for

other married people to understand that they aren’t alone. One

weekend in March of 2007 it became clear to me that the awesome man I married couldn’tpretend to find me attractiveanymore. Our intimacy was precious to me, and we were losing it. I was daring him to find me attractiveat two hundred pounds, two hundred fifty pounds . . . OK, how about three hundred pounds? It was like my weight was a third person lying in our bed between us. I saw a day coming when we would live together “just as friends,” and it broke my heart.

I have to stop for a moment and tell you a little bit about my

husband. When we said our marriage vows in 1992, the man was

serious. I never worried for one minute that he would cheat on me

or want a divorce. Every day he told me he loved me. It was just a

problem that there seemed to be a lot more of me to love every day.

I don’t believe that wives should torture themselves trying to

look like models. Let’s be honest. Even a supermodel doesn’t really look like a supermodel when you take away the hour of expert makeup and the magic of Photoshop. I do think we owe it to our spouses, however, to take care of ourselves. At three hundred pounds I stopped getting haircuts, considered makeup a waste of time, and avoided mirrors like the plague. Men are visual. God created them that way, and I can only imagine how tired my husband must have been seeing me in baggy sweatpants every day.

I think my “bottom smacking” moment went back to those

marriage vows we had said to each other fifteen years earlier. My

Goff-Skinny.indd 12

husband promised to love me in sickness and in health, but I was

choosing sickness over health. It wasn’t fair to him. My out-of-control eating habits and lack of exercise were hurting my marriage and slowly killing me. I was ready to lose weight like a grown-up.

Does this mean that I lost 155 pounds for my husband? No. I

didn’t lose the weight for him. I lost the weight for us. I think if

my only motivation had been to make my husband happy, my diet

wouldn’t have lasted a week. This is at the core of why we can’t nag, badger, or beg our spouses to be healthier. A guilt trip or mean comments from my husband would have sent me to the nearest buffet line with a battle cry of, “You think I’m fat? I’ll show you fat!”

Your parents may be worried sick about your growing size. Your

spouse may be secretly throwing away your snacks. Your kids may dream of having a parent who is active and involved. That alone won’t be enough. A healthier you is a gift to those who love you, but it is a gift that must be given of your own free will. Has your bottom touched bottom?

From Willpower to “Thy Will ” Power

“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed,

you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”1

I did a little bit of research about the mustard seed. It is generally

about three millimeters in diameter and is one of the smallest

seeds on the planet. What I found interesting is that the tiny mustard seed can grow to be one of the largest plants in the garden. But in March of 2007 all I knew about mustard was that it tasted great on a hot dog.

Looking back, the mustard seed really was the perfect symbol

for where I was at in my head. Because of so many past diet failures I had almost no faith that I would ever lose weight. I had

almost no faith that God would listen to my prayers. I had almost

no faith that He could give me the strength to try again . . . almost.

Goff-Skinny.indd 13

It turns out that the three millimeters of faith that I had in my

heart was enough. Actually it was more than enough.

To say that I probably didn’t look my best on that day in March

of 2007 would be an understatement. I want you to give you clear

picture of my “before” photo—no touch-ups. It was early on a

Saturday morning, so you have to picture an obese woman with

her hair standing straight up, not a lot of clothes on, and teeth that

probably needed to be brushed. My eyes were practically swollen

shut from my tears, and an occasional snot-bubble is not outside

the realm of possibility. I looked rough. God didn’t care.

He listened to me make an ugly, honest confession. I had allowed

food to be my god. It had become my comforter and my crutch.

And if you’ve struggled with your weight or with any addiction,

you know that it can be an angry and unforgiving god. The very

day I cried out and prayed for help, God (with the big, capital G)

gave me a no-thank-you muscle I never had before.

Here is the best way I can describe it. When an obese person

sees something delicious on a plate, the “must have it” meter is off the charts. A piece of warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream would be an eighteen for me on a scale of one to ten. It was impossible to resist. On the Saturday I asked God to carry me, my “must have it” meter for the foods I loved was immediately dialed down. The food still looked delicious, but I didn’t feel as if I would die if I simply said, “No, thank you.”

That feeling of strength has never left me. It gave my soul the

courage to try again even after two decades of failure. It gave my

brain the opportunity to put the science of weight loss into action.

God took my faith (the size of a mustard seed) and moved a mountain; a 155-pound mountain of fat to be exact.

If you can take away just one thing from my story, I hope it is

this. God is still in the miracle business. I learned in a very real

way that God has plans for us. Plans to prosper us and not to harm

us. Plans to give us hope and a future.2 The Father who created you and can count every hair on your head is not a deadbeat dad.

Goff-Skinny.indd 14

We’re going to talk about the role that faith and support can

play for you, but our first hour class is science. Don’t worry. You

won’t need a periodic table of the elements or a Bunsen burner. In

the next chapter I want to give you some basic facts about how

our bodies work, use calories, and store fuel. There is a measurement tool called the body mass index and my own creation called a brain mass index. Both can be eye opening.

House Call With Rita Hancock, MD

House Call With Rita Hancock, MD

Question:_ I have a long list of diets in my past. Many of them

were all about restrictions and what foods I could and couldn’t

eat. Do you ever wonder what God thinks about our constant

dieting?

Dr. Hancock: I think it breaks God’s heart to see us suffer

with the consequences of obesity, but I also think it breaks

His heart to see us chronically diet and fail. Our failures just

compound the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that

lead to emotional eating. Plus, dieting fuels our obsession

with food. It makes us want the food we think we shouldn’t

eat even more. It’s a vicious, self-defeating cycle.

Because each of us is so different (for example, for some of

us restricting dieting backfires), I don’t believe God would advocate

a single, one-size-fits-all diet for all Christians. No doubt

God would give each of us an individualized diet if we lived

in an ideal world where we could hear His instructions clearly.

Unfortunately we don’t live in an ideal world. Being that

we’re all unique, individual creations, and being that we’re all

imperfect, God gave us only general guidelines to follow in

Scripture. Let’s look at those general guidelines here:

1. You shouldn’t be gluttonous (Prov. 23:2, 20–21).

2. You shouldn’t worry about or think too much

about what you will eat (Matt. 6:25).

Goff-Skinny.indd 15

3. You can eat any type of food (Mark 7:15–19).

4. You should eat to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31).

Let’s take a minute to talk about each of these scriptures

specifically. First, think about the meaning of gluttony. Generally

most would agree that it means, “overeating.” But how

much is too much? Are you gluttonous if you eat twenty

cookies? Most would say yes. How about if you eat two

cookies? And can you be gluttonous in ways other than

eating? The exact definition of gluttony can be hard to pin

down, if you ask me.

Second, do you worry too much about food and eating?

A long time ago I was in bondage to food. I was either on a

diet or off a diet, as if I was on a dieting roller coaster. My first

thought in the morning was either, “Feed me!” or “I hope I

don’t overeat today,” depending on which part of the roller

coaster I was on.

I most definitely thought about food more than I thought

about God. In fact, my obsessive thoughts about food actually

drove a wedge between God and me. That’s why I think it was

bondage.

Eventually, by the grace of God and using methods I discuss

further in The Eden Diet, I was able to break free from this

bondage and reestablish the right pecking order. Jesus was

Lord over me, and I was lord over the food.

Third, Scripture says you can eat any type of food. Notice

that God didn’t say carrot sticks are morally superior

to cheesecake. At the same rate Paul pointed out that just

because something is allowable, it isn’t necessarily advisable.

People with fat-clogged arteries ought to avoid eating more

than a few bites of cheesecake, lest they have heart attacks and

die. The point is, you must use common sense and eat potentially

unhealthy food in small amounts, especially if you’re

trying to lose weight or if you have unique medical needs that

require you to follow a strict diet.

Goff-Skinny.indd 16

Fourth, you should eat with an attitude of thankfulness

and reverence to God. Eating with the proper attitude, that is,

without anxiety and guilt, leads to greater satisfaction with the

eating experience so that less food equals more joy.
Rita Hancock, MD, is a Christian physician with Ivy League nutrition training and studies of obese psychology. She draws upon her faith and her personal success overcoming

childhood-onset obesity to help those in bondage to food, eating, and dieting. To learn more about

Dr. Hancock’s work or purchase The Eden Diet or other resources developed by Dr. Hancock, visit her

website at www.theedendiet.com.

Goff-Skinny.indd 17

The Dilemma of Charlotte Farrow

 

Olivia Newport.

In the second book of the Avenue of Dreams series, Olivia Newport explores the complicated relationship between social classes while creating a story of courage, strength, and tender romance. Set against the glittering backdrop of the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition, this compelling story captures the tension between the wealthy class and the hardworking servants who made their lives comfortable.

Charlotte Farrow, a maid in the wealthy Banning household on Chicago’s opulent Prairie Avenue, has kept her baby boy a secret from her employers for nearly a year. But when the woman who has been caring for her son abruptly returns him, Charlotte must decide whether to come clean and face dismissal or keep her secret while the Bannings decide the child’s fate. Can she face the truth of her own past and open her heart to a future of her own? Or will life’s tragedies determine the future for her?

ISLAND BREEZES

This is a story of both courage and fear. Lucy Banning helped Charlotte keep her secret, but she married and left on an extended honeymoon to Europe.

Then the problems began. The woman who cared for Charlotte’s son had an out-of-town emergency, and a scullery maid discovered the boy in a laundry basket. That was when Charlottes deception began to explode with drama.

While fearing for the safety of both herself and her son, she does something that will probably cost her dearly.

Throughout all this, a romance is brewing. It seems that Charlotte’s fears may even cost her a chance with a good, loving suitor.

I’ve enjoyed visiting with the Bannings again and look forward to more books in the Avenue of Dreams series.

***A special thank you to Donna Hausler for providing a review copy.***

Olivia Newport is the author of?The Pursuit of Lucy Banning. Her novels twist through time to discover where faith and passions meet. Her husband and two adult children provide welcome distraction from the people stomping through her head on their way into her books. She chases joy in stunning Colorado at the foot of the Rockies, where daylilies grow as tall as she is.

Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, offers practical books that bring the Christian faith to everyday life. They publish resources from a variety of well-known brands and authors, including their partnership with MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and Hungry Planet.

Available January 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Cheaper, Better, Faster

 

By Mary Hunt

Over 2,000 Ways to Save Time & Money Every Day 

 

 

Syndicated personal finance columnist Mary Hunt shares over 2,000 tips to make just about everything Cheaper, Better, Faster. Hunt has received thousands of tips and tricks from readers of her daily newspaper column, and she has selected the very best ways to save time and money in this ultimate guide to making life easier.

Cheaper, Better, Faster is all the best advice you’ve ever heard, collected into one handy volume. Every tip is short, to the point, and helps readers make the most of their money and time, making everyday life less hectic and more enjoyable.

Proven tips on everything from removing hairspray baked onto a curling iron to enjoying gourmet coffee without the gourmet price are included. Readers will learn how to keep their cats from eating their houseplants and know how to get stains out of white carpet.

Hunt hopes the useful and oftentimes humorous information in Cheaper, Better, Faster will help readers spend their money wisely and get creative by using everyday items to achieve the results they need – whether that means finding a wedding gift that won’t break the bank or getting a stain out of a new t-shirt.

ISLAND BREEZES

I’ve been a Mary Hunt email subscriber for a long time. I’ve only recently been introduced to her books. Debt-Proof Your Christmas was good, but this book tops it.

I’ve loved getting Mary’s email tips, but this book certainly beats that newsletter all to pieces.

Each chapter contains tips about a different category. Yep! All the same kind of tips are together, making it easy to find tips that you currently need.

Sixteen chapters. 386 pages. Lots of useful tips here. Right now I’m checking out tips on repairs and maintenance. We are not going to talk about my water leak.

***A special thank you to Donna Hausler for providing a review copy.***

Mary Hunt is an award-winning and bestselling author, syndicated columnist and sought-after motivational speaker who created a global platform that is making strides to help men and women battle the epidemic impact of consumer debt. She is founder and publisher of the interactive website Debt-Proof Living, which features financial tools, resources and information for her online members. Her books have sold more than a million copies and her daily newspaper column is nationally syndicated through Creators Syndicate and is enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of Everyday Cheapskate?readers. Hunt speaks widely on personal finance and has appeared on shows such as?Good Morning America, Oprah,?Dr. Phil and?Focus on the Family. She and her husband live in California.

 

Available January 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Rita Hancock is a board-certified Physical Medicine specialist with subspecialty board certification in Pain Management, and she has been in full-time practice in Norman, Oklahoma for fourteen years. Currently, she serves as the Oklahoma delegate for the Christian Medical And Dental Association, as well as their official spokesperson on matters of diet and nutrition. Dr. Hancock is married to Ed and they have two children.
Visit the author’s website.

What’s blocking you from experiencing total wellness?

Research increasingly shows a strong connection between our spiritual life, our emotions, and our physical well being. Yet too often our physical conditions are treated without taking our whole lives into account. In Radical Well-being, Dr. Rita Hancock shows you how your mind, body, and spirit are connected and addresses the factors that can contribute, and even cause, illness, addictions, and chronic pain.

If you suffer from medical conditions like fibromyalgia, migraine headaches, neck or back pain, irritable bowel syndrome, jaw pain, food and drug allergies, depression, anxiety, or unwanted behaviors such as overeating, an eating disorder, overspending, drug abuse or alcoholism, Radical Well-being will show you a biblical, whole-body approach to overcoming your condition. With nearly twenty years of experience counseling patients from a balanced, mind/body/Holy Spirit perspective, Dr. Rita gives you practical nuts-and-bolts advice.

 

Product Details:

List Price: $16.99

Paperback: 288 pages

Publisher: Siloam (January 8, 2013)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1616389737

ISBN-13: 978-1616389734:

ISLAND BREEZES

This book will take you on a journey of yourself. If you truly want to be an overcomer, get ready for the ride.

It’s time to start listening to God, and find release.

If you ernestly pray the prayers at6 the end of each chapter, you will be able to break through to old lies you may have been telling yourself fince childhood. It’s a relief to face the lies and finally be able to see yourself as God sees you.

I couldn’t read this book in a single sitting. I needed time to process it bit by bit. It was so worth it.

Some things sound too good to be true, and they are. This books is not. It can lead you to freedom from emotional bondage.

 
AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

If I asked you to look at a group of women and pick out the person with the eating disorder, you wouldn’t choose Helen. She doesn’t fit the stereotype. She’s a slightly overweight, sixty-year-old grandmother. Surprise! Not all people with eating disorders are skinny, teenage girls.

As I interviewed Helen about her knee pain on that first medical visit, she repeatedly pointed out that she was desperate to lose weight so her knees would hurt less. On the surface that made sense. However, something wasn’t right about this particular situation. She seemed more fixated on the prospect of weight loss than on relieving the knee pain.

That’s when she starting asking me about my previous book, The Eden Diet. Apparently her daughter had lost a fair amount of weight on the diet, and Helen now wanted to try it.

I have to admit that I was a little confused by this point in the visit. She was on the schedule as wanting to be seen for her knees. So I just came out and asked, “Shouldn’t we be talking about your knees?” Helen looked down at the ground and then back up at me. “Well, I heard you don’t see just anybody for weight loss. I heard you mostly treat pain-management patients and just counsel them for weight loss on the side. I guess I figured that you could help me kill two birds with one stone.”

You have to commend her persistence. That’s faith and desperation rolled into one! I figured I’d better help her or she’d get some people to take the shingles off the roof of my office and lower her into the

Hancock-Radical.indd 1

exam room through the ceiling on a stretcher while thinking, “If only I touch the hem of her lab coat, I’ll lose weight.”

As Helen and I dialogued in subsequent visits, I gleaned some insight into her underlying problem. As a child she internalized lies that led her into an eating disorder in her teenage years. She believed her mother would love her only if she was skinny. Her mother had been a dancer in her youth and pressured Helen and her sisters to not eat too much or they wouldn’t be wanted (by men). But Helen understood that nobody, not even her own mother, would want her if she were overweight.

Hence the eating disorder. She was trying to “works” her way into being good enough by manipulating (or trying to manipulate) her weight. Hidden lies and feelings of inadequacy, such as those Helen entertained, lead to emotional stress and strife. In turn those lies lead to overeating and other physical manifestations, such as pain and illness. It’s a common tale, one that another of my patients knows well.

A Little Girl Named Nancy

Nancy’s parents rarely had time for her. Her father was an attorney in a big Chicago law firm, and if he didn’t work long hours he wouldn’t stand a chance of becoming partner. Based on his own standards for success, that would have meant he was a total failure in life. He learned that way of thinking from his dad, who was also a highly successful, perfectionist, workaholic lawyer with low self-esteem deep down.

Nancy’s mother was a legal secretary in the same firm. She didn’t have to work overtime with her husband all those evenings, but she did so anyway, saying it was to help her husband get home earlier. Truthfully she just wanted to keep tabs on her good-looking, wealthy husband. She didn’t trust him around the perky little legal interns.

The one source of constancy in Nancy’s early life was her paternal grandfather. He babysat her most evenings after day care or school when her parents worked overtime, and he watched her most Saturdays too. The babysitting job kept him from getting lonely and depressed

Hancock-Radical.indd 2

since his wife had passed away a few years before. Without the pairing,

both he and Nancy would have been alone.

Despite Nancy’s company Grandpa was still lonely in a different

kind of way. To fill that need, he fell into reading inappropriate magazines. He made a halfhearted attempt to hide the magazines from little Nancy but failed. She found them by accident one day shortly after her seventh birthday while looking for magazine pictures she could use

for a school art project.

A flurry of questions ran through her little mind when she found those pictures. “Why would Grandpa look at those magazines? Is this how men are supposed to look at women? Is this how women are supposed to be looked at?”

Though Nancy was young, she knew instinctively that her Grandpa’s magazines were naughty, and she felt bad about herself for having seen them. In fact, she experienced not just a single crush but a double crush to her self-esteem over this.

On one hand she couldn’t help but identify with the women in the pictures. If they were just lowly objects, then maybe that’s all she was too. After all, she was female, just like them. On the other hand, Nancy identified with her grandfather and felt deep shame. “Grandpa is bad for looking at these,” she thought, “so I must be bad too, because we’re

related and that means I’m like him.” The blow to her self-esteem stayed with her for a long time, compromising her romantic relationships with men later in life. She couldn’t trust them. Were they looking at her as a piece of meat or as a person? Would they betray her like her daddy betrayed her mommy? Or would they abandon her like her parents abandoned her to focus on their work? She was never sure.

This incident also marked the beginning of her overeating. On a subconscious level seeing those pictures at that impressionable age caused Nancy to feel vulnerable and out of control in addition to bad and dirty. Nancy decided she didn’t want anyone to look at her the way her grandfather looked at those women. So she ate to put a layer of insulation around her body. It backfired, though, because people looked anyway since she was so large.

Hancock-Radical.indd 3

This issue with her grandfather wasn’t the only reason Nancy gained weight as a child. On some level, even though her daddy ultimately made partner in the firm and was able to spend more time at home, Nancy always felt a sense of abandonment due to his earlier absence. She figured that she was unworthy of Daddy’s attention. If she were a good enough daughter, maybe he would have stayed home.

These feelings of low self-esteem and abandonment gave her another reason to eat to keep people away as an adult. If nobody became interested in her romantically because she was overweight, then nobody would abandon or betray her later on.

Of course, during her childhood Nancy was totally unaware of these buried feelings. It wasn’t until she underwent counseling to save her third failing marriage that she began to understand the psychology that motivated her to eat as a child.

Through counseling, Nancy learned that she felt shameful, vulnerable, and out of control as a child, especially sexually but also emotionally. Eating was her unconscious attempt to feel safe and in control. She ate to medicate her low self-esteem and anxiety, and she ate to keep away unwanted attention.

Composite Patients

Can you relate to any part of Helen’s or Nancy’s story? They actually represent composites of a multitude of women that I’ve counseled for weight loss, pain, and other stress-related health problems over the years. In fact, all the patient examples that I present in this book are composites—yet every situation I describe is real.

As you can see by Helen’s and Nancy’s examples, fear, sexuality, and feeling inadequate or out of control are common themes that contribute to aberrant eating behavior in women. Other common issues include guilt, low self-esteem, abandonment or loss (such as parental divorce), parental alcoholism, and physical illness during childhood. Because I hear these themes frequently in my medical practice, you’ll see them often in the patient composites I include in this book.

My intent in presenting these composites is to help you understand

Hancock-Radical.indd 4

and manage your emotional triggers and, consequently, have an easier time letting go of your addictions, unwanted health behaviors, and physical pain. Even better than the physical benefits though, is the peace, love, and joy you feel when you break free from false beliefs and feel more of the fruit of the Spirit in your life. I assure you that the freedom from emotional bondage feels even better than the physical health benefits.

The Lies That Bind

In the following pages I list fundamental beliefs that have triggered feelings of stress, depression, and anxiety in some of my patients. In many cases the emotions caused by these beliefs led my patients to reach for false comforters (food, alcohol, gambling, spending, overworking, etc.) to try to feel better.

Before you read the list, please pray (see Appendix A for more help with prayer). Ask God to reveal only the information that you can handle, and ask Him to reveal if you should dig through these subconscious beliefs with the help of a Christian counselor. Not everyone is meant to “go there” without the help of another human. God gave us Christian counselors and psychologists for a reason.

Now if the time is right (and only you and God can be the judge of that, so proceed at your own risk and do so prayerfully), read the list and see if any of the lies strike a nerve. Make a checkmark by each one that does.

Keep in mind that everything on the bulleted list is a lie. Even though you see the accusations against you in print, don’t be fooled into believing them.

• You’re fat.

• You’re ugly.

• You’re stupid.

• You’re unlovable.

• God doesn’t love you.

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• You’re bad (or not good enough).

• You’re worthless.

• You’ll never amount to anything.

• You shouldn’t have been born.

• They’re going to leave you.

• You don’t deserve to be loved.

• It’s all you’re fault.

• You’re dirty.

• You’re shameful.

• It’s your fault your parents divorced.

• You’re unforgivable because of the abortion.

• You’re a bad mother for giving up your baby when you were a teenager.

• If you were worth anything, she wouldn’t have given you up for adoption.

• Your parents adopted you to fix their marriage; now their happiness is up to you.

• If you were good, your dad (or mom) would have stuck around.

• It’s your fault your mom or dad drank.

• It’s your fault your dad abused your mom (or vice versa).

• It’s your fault he sexually abused you.

• You deserve to be treated badly.

• She’ll never let your daddy hear the last of it if you tell on him.

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• Your mother won’t believe you if you tell her about the abuse.

• It’s your fault he (or she) left.

• It’s your fault he (or she) died.

• You’re just like your bad mother.

• You’re just like your bad father.

• You’re not as good as your brother or sister.

• You’re an accident.

• You weren’t wanted.

• You can’t be forgiven for what you did.

• They’re going to leave you if they find out you’re bad.

• You have to try to be perfect to make up for being bad.

• You don’t deserve anybody’s time.

• God’s promises aren’t meant for you.

Remember, these are lies that have nothing to do with who you are today. It’s important to identify the beliefs that you learned in the past, as we will see. Realize that the time has come to let go of the lies, and I help you do that in this book. Now let’s talk about other sources of false childhood beliefs.

Lies That Make You Think You’re Fat

Because my daughter is a teenager, I spend a fair amount of time watching the effects of peer pressure on the kids in her age group. Even the more wholesome TV programs that are geared to her age group show perfectly manicured, extremely cute girls with perfect clothing and most excellent hair. Naturally, real-life girls of that age group are bound to feel inadequate.

I know about peer pressure for another reason. I temporarily volunteered my services to online “ask the expert” websites. I quit after

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having to answer the same anonymous question a thousand times from teenage girls: “Dr. Rita, please tell me how to lose thirty pounds in the next three weeks. I’m going to be in my sister’s wedding, and I’m a total blimp. I’m over one hundred thirty pounds, and I’m only five foot seven inches. I want to get down to the same weight as the other bridesmaids.”

How did I respond? “Honey, your real problem isn’t your weight. You may have an eating disorder. You should talk with your parents and get some counseling.”

I wish I could have spoken freely about my faith to those girls on that secular site. If I had been able to, I would have said, “No matter how hard you try, you will never be somebody else, and you will never feel that you’re good enough after you lose weight if you feel inadequate before. Your greatest journey is to get in line with God’s will for your life, not to get in line with God’s will for somebody else’s life.”

Thinking you’re fat eventually makes you become fat. Your actions affect your attitudes, and your attitudes affect your actions. Watch what you think because it will affect what you do.

You Have to Ask the Questions

If you aren’t sure about what triggers you to reach for false comforters, start asking questions: “Immediately before I feel tempted to [eat, drink, gamble, shop, overwork, etc.], do I feel fear, anger, or low selfesteem? Do I feel stupid, worthless, or out of control? Or do I feel unnurtured? Or is it something else?”

And how do I feel after I utilize my false comforter? Do those emotions go away? If so for how long do they go away?” As I said, the false comforter is not the underlying problem. It’s only the attempted solution to get away from the unwanted emotion.

Many people feel out of control and hence, fearful or anxious. They use their false comforters to try to regain a sense of control. “Nobody can tell me what to [eat, buy, smoke, drink, feel, etc.].” Or they use the false comforters as short-term distractions to escape their emotions.

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They cover their anger, fear, or low self-esteem with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, cutting, or some other unhealthy behavior.

The Right Questions Break Down Barriers

Surveying and assessing your emotions can definitely help you identify your triggers. However, it’s even better to petition the all-knowing Creator of the universe for answers. He knows the nature of your deep-down issues better than you do!

You may be thinking, “But I’ve asked Him for answers a million times, and He doesn’t answer!” If you feel as if God isn’t answering you, or if you feel “lost” in your journey for answers, realize the problem isn’t likely to be on God’s end. You may have barriers that prevent you from hearing from God.

Many factors can serve as barriers that block your reception of God’s healing. For example, maybe you believe lies about yourself as a result of childhood events or abuse. Or maybe you need to repent of past sins. Maybe you need to extend forgiveness to those who hurt you. Maybe you are mad at God because you couldn’t find Him during your times of trouble. Maybe you feel ashamed and are hiding from God. Or maybe it’s something entirely different. Maybe you have emotional or physical barriers.

No matter what caused your barriers to go up, asking God the right questions about the nature of those barriers can help to tear them down.

To help you overcome your barriers, at the ends of the chapters in Parts 1-4, I offer sample questions that you can ask God during prayer. To formulate these questions, I borrowed from a number of healing disciplines, including Christian inner-healing ministry, psychology, physical therapy, and manual medicine, all of which talk about overcoming barriers of one form or another. That way, once your barriers come down, you can better receive healing truth from God and, in turn, experience freedom from your emotional triggers and bondage to false comforters.

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Action Point

Ask God in Prayer

* Express your thankfulness and confidence, “Dear Lord, thank You for the healing truth that I am about to receive.”

* Ask for a new start, “As I recall my past sins, please forgive me, wash me clean, and make me brand new.”

* Ask God to help you drop your defenses, “Lord, please amplify my ability to hear and/or understand deep healing truth as I read.”

* Ask for compassion, “Lord, please help me to have compassion toward myself and others. Help me forgive those who hurt me.”

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Radical Well Being

By Rita Hancock, MD

ISLAND BREEZES

This book will take you on a journey of yourself.  If you truly want to be an overcomer, get ready for the ride.

It’s time to start listening to God, and find release.

If you ernestly pray the prayers at6 the end of each chapter, you will be able to break through to old lies you may have been telling yourself fince childhood. It’s a relief to face the lies and finally be able to see yourself as God sees you.

I couldn’t read this book in a single sitting.  I needed time to process it bit by bit. It was so worth it.

Some things sound too good to be true, and they are. This books is not. It can lead you to freedom from emotional bondage.

Martin Luther King Jr had a dream.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

What happened to that dream?  It seems as if racial and class division is encouraged more and more.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command you.

I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.”

John 15:12-17

Waiting for Spring

 

By Amanda Cabot

Amanda Cabot explores themes of love, courage and sacrifice in the second book of the Westward Winds series. With an authentic backdrop of 1880s Wyoming, Cabot creates characters whose struggle to forge a life in the old West ultimately wins your heart.

After the loss of her husband and the birth of her baby, Charlotte has had a long, hard year. But when a notorious robber believes she knows the location of a long-lost treasure, she flees to Cheyenne and opens a dressmaker’s shop to lie low and make a living. When wealthy cattle baron and political hopeful Barrett Landry enters the shop to visit her best customer, Miriam, Charlotte feels drawn to him.

If Barrett is to be a senator of the soon-to-be state of Wyoming, he must make a sensible match, and Miriam has all the right connections. Yet he can’t shake the feeling that Charlotte holds the key to his heart and his future.

Soon the past comes to call, and Barrett’s plans crumble around him. Will Charlotte and Barrett find the courage to look love in the face? Or will their fears blot out any chance for happiness?

ISLAND BREEZES

Charlotte fled with her baby to Cheyenne in hopes of safety, but never really feels totally safe. She did manage to build a successful business, but constantly worries about being found.

Barrett wants to be elected senator of Wyoming. He’s getting serious about popping the question to a society lady who’s father can help his political aspirations.

It’s neither safe for Charlotte and her special son nor expedient for Barrett, but the two of them are being drawn to each other.

Danger soon rides into town and tries to steal what happiness might be in store for the couple.

Ms Cabot has taken care of summer and spring in her Westward Winds series. I’m ready for fall and winter.

***A special thank you to Donna Hausler for providing a review copy.***

Amanda Cabot is an accomplished author under various pen names and a popular speaker. The author of Paper Roses, Scattered Petals, Tomorrow’s Garden, and Summer of Promise, she is also a charter member of Romance Writers of America, the cofounder of its New Jersey chapter, a member of the ACFW, and an avid traveler. She lives in Wyoming.

Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, offers practical books that bring the Christian faith to everyday life.? They publish resources from a variety of well-known brands and authors, including their partnership with MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and Hungry Planet.

Available January 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group