Mean Mommy

October 22nd, 2008. Filed under: Wednesday's Wonders.
Today we have another flybaby guest article.  Nova keeps us on our toes with her humor.  Like Nova, I, too, have an aversion to grocery shopping.
“We’re out of food”
 
My family is convinced we are out of food.  Really!!!??  I went shopping on the first of the month, how can we be out of food?  Mind you they are still getting three squares and snacks.  The teenage one who never stops eating greets me as he comes in the door from school, “Whats to eat?”  I respond, “Take out the trash.”  “But I’m STARVING!!!!.”  Being the mean mom that they assure me I am, I tell him, “Eat some fruit.”  How can he not see the big bowl of it on the table? 
 
The kids go in the kitchen, open the fridge, shut the fridge.  Coming out of the kitchen clutching their rotund tummies, they swear they are starving and there is NOTHING to eat in THIS house.  The Dad of the lot, just this morning, went in the kitchen and came back with nothing. He returned to his cave, most likely plotting a McDonald’s raid on his way to work.  He informed me on his way past that he got paid yesterday and I could “get some groceries now”.  I fixed him a bagel with cream cheese, egg and a slice of turkey. (Okay, so it was the last bagel.)  He left for work happy thinking that I would go get groceries today (HAHAHA).
 
I really hate grocery shopping. I guess I’ll make some pacifiers.  I go in my so called empty kitchen/pantry…..hmm…. chocolate chip cookies.  I’ll slice and bake.  They’ll be good for an after school snack.  Spaghetti and chicken casserole for dinner with a recipe from The Pioneer Woman Cooks!  I like her.  I used the chicken last night so I’ll make it with ham this time, and PBJ’s for the two sons, 6 and 7, who don’t like anything. But first I make them taste it.  They are sure I like to see them spit food into the trash can.  Blueberry muffins for their breakfast tomorrow, or do they want hash? Lunches are packed in the fridge already.  I even found a fruit roll up for each of the boys, I like to surprise them sometimes.
 
Probably tomorrow I’ll go to the store.  If I time my trip just right my teenager will be thrilled to carry in the groceries for me after school.  If it weren’t for the fact that my husband thinks the only thing for a Saturday morning breakfast is biscuits and sausage gravy (I’m out of sausage), I could probably put
this off for another week. I”m really sick of sausage gravy.  I think I’ll eat a yogurt instead.  I saw 6 of them in the fridge just now.  Note to self….buy extra sausage next time.
 
Tomorrow they will cry “Where’s all my clothes?? I’ve NOTHING to wear,” because today I’m hiding all the clothes in the dressers.

1 Response to Mean Mommy

  1. Nova

    I did finally go grocery shopping. I didn’t like but I did it.
    I think we’re good for a couple weeks now.

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